War Stories

Intro

It’s been fifteen years since it happened. I was only 22 at the time. That was what… 2008? Yeah I think so. Anyways, I was 22 when it happened. I remember I was living at home with my parents, I’d just moved back to Florida from Ohio or whatever it’s called these days. I was living in Ohio for about a year before things went south, credit card debt, quit my job, back problems…the usual symptoms of the life of a young American in those days. I was living with my parents to “get back on my feet” or so they said. I didn’t believe a word of it. Total bullshit if you ask me, my generation never had feet, we we’re cut off at the knees. Fully functioning humans with no will or desire to support the lives we were meant to live.
Whatever.
Like I said it’s been fifteen years since it happened. What it is, is a whole other story in itself but I guess you could say that all those rumors about the end of the world and nuclear apocalypse were child’s play compared with the real hell that occurred in 08.
To be honest I still haven’t figured out why I’m still alive. Like I said, I had some pretty serious back problems at the time. No money, but of course money didn’t help anyone. Hah, Bill Gates had just finished talking about starting an anti-smoking campaign when he had his head blown off. Man those were some crazy times, back when no one realized what was really going on. I’m pretty sure the only reason I survived the initial war was because I was so far from the world, completely isolated in my room during the day while I slept, and isolated at night on the back porch smoking cigarettes and reading philosophical or “Christian come alive” books.
Everyone smokes now. Everyone that’s still breathing that is.
Most of us hold up in Alaska… I think they call it Section 372. The New Order fucked all the old names up. Doesn’t feel right to tell your bud you’re going to visit some family in 257. Well, I guess family doesn’t come up much anyways.
Back in 2008 while everyone was freaking out about global warming I guess They had other plans for earth. They call themselves Hope, an organization supposedly predisposed to cleanse the earth of its iniquity and replace it with religious “zeal.”
Basically all the terminology is a bunch of bullshit for, “Hey! We’re in charge now and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it, and to make sure it stays that way we’re gonna bring your families back to life as zombies to chase you down and slaughter you.” They’re just a bunch of occult nut-jobs that somehow got the financial backing and know how to simultaneously take over every country in the world.
Of course it all started out with a virus. It always does doesn’t it? In the movies it’s always some new cure or this or that that turns deadly and starts killing people. Well, I suppose in all fairness they didn’t try to pull-one-over on us. They just dumped it in the drinking water in all the major cities and whoever caught the disease died and whoever died came back to life…pretty freaky right? You have no fucking clue.
I guess that’s another reason why I didn’t die early on. First off, I wasn’t directly in a major city and second, I never drank water back then, I was drinking mountain dew like there was no tomorrow. Ha-ha and look at that, there wasn’t! God, that’s so depressing.

Of course that’s not all of it. After they dumped their human remedy into the water systems there was a whole lot of confusion. You’d think there wouldn’t be any confusion, “Oh, zombies, let’s kill ‘em all so we don’t die.” Yeah that makes sense, but like I said before, being infected caused a person to die and then come back to life immediately.
“But wait how were they zombies then?”
Well I don’t really have a good answer. The best way I’ve heard it described so far is that the virus separates the soul from the body and sends the soul home, while the body lives on under the control of Hope. Seems pretty true to me… you’ve got bodies with nothing inside to tell ‘em what to do and they turn into little human machines. Albeit, now that I know a little bit more about how they work, I can see the limitations. Where as at first they seemed incredibly lifelike they were still more dead than alive in most ways. Something about the fact that there was no life-force or internal power-source reduced them from their standings as humans, however, when being controlled they had most of the capacities that a regular human being has.
They did and do currently have a shut-off mode, while running in this minimalistic form of existence they do nothing but what is necessary to survive. But that was the worst part. My dad woke up in the morning, expecting his morning chat with mom, and mom ripped his head off instead. Happened all around the world the same way, families ripped themselves apart from the inside out.
Literally.
I’m pretty sure when Hope took over they simply initiated survival mode. All across the US and most likely the rest of the world those who were infected woke with an animalistic need for survival I’d guess that their initial reaction was one similar to what would happen if you were somehow able to wipe a lion’s memory clean so it had no idea where it was, what it was, why it was, and then woke it up. Animal survival instincts kick in and people die.
Well, however depressing this is, there are still a few of us left. If you were to cut the human population from 2008 in portions it would look something like; fifty percent dead, fourteen percent “undead,” thirty percent humans under the rule of Hope, one percent the elite of Hope, and five percent us. Doesn’t look to good does it? But on the plus side I don’t think they realize how many of us are left. We’ve gotten really good at hiding. Not to mention most of us are surviving in BFE. Places like Alaska and north Canada. I’ve heard there’s a bunch of us out in Greenland, but that’s probably just a rumor. As for the other continents… who knows? Could be they faired a lot better than us after the initial outbreak… could be they’re all dead. Anyways, I doubt Hope really gives a shit about a couple of two-bit tramps and survivors out in BFE Alaska, I wouldn’t.
But they did initially try to make sure anyone not loyal was dead. Right in the beginning they sent out a huge number of those human machines to make sure they didn’t have any massive resistance. They probably shouldn’t have bothered. They finally got to Alaska in December of 2008. Coldest damn year of my life, that was. After waking up and killing my roommate and mom I bunkered down for a little bit but I knew I couldn’t stay long. I called my other family near by but no one answered, and I wasn’t about to make sure they were dead. Then I called my best friend out in Texas. He lived 45 minutes out of Dallas so I didn’t have much hope but then again he drank about as much Dr. Pepper as I did Mountain Dew. At the time I didn’t know the infection was spreading through the water supply, but I just had that gut feeling that he was still there. He didn’t pick up the first time and I almost gave up hope after calling him another three times. He called back.
“Jack?”
“Danny, are you ok?”
“Yeah man I’m fine. But you just woke me up and I got a test today. What do you need?”
“Dude, I’m not sure how to tell you this, but something’s going on. I’ve got no idea what but I just woke up a little while ago and my mom tried to rip my throat out.”
“Yeah well… wait what?”
“I’m not speaking figuratively, it’s like she was a zombie or something dude, I’m freaking out. None of my other family are picking up and my dad’s dead too in the living room. I guess mom killed him in the morning. I don’t have any fucking clue what’s going on but you gotta make sure you’re ready for your brother.”
“Wait my brother? What the fuck are you talking about Jack?”
“Your brother damn it! He might be one of them. I’m telling you man I’ve called everyone in my phone list and not one damn person’s picked up their phone… alright look, you might not understand what I’m saying to you right now, but take your sword out with you when you leave your room…”
“Look man I don’t know what’s going on here but maybe you just had a bad dream or something.”
“Danny. I’ve never been more serious in my entire life. Do it for me take your sword when you leave your room if your brother doesn’t talk to you... then he’s one of them too. Just be ready to do what you have to.”
“That’s just crazy man it’s not possible.”
“I know… I know man. I killed my own mother today. I couldn’t have done that unless I knew it wasn’t her. Mom was gone when her body came after me or else I couldn’t have done it. Just… just stay alive man I’m leaving now I’m gonna take the jeep and load up on gas cans and food and grab whatever guns and ammo my dad kept around the house. If anything happens…anything at all, call me. I’m on my way.”
“Jack…”
*click*

Chapter 1

It was sometime in august when Jack Williams walked outside his front door. Everything in his little suburb looked like a scene out of a horror flick. There were bodies everywhere and some of them were alive. For the most part cars were still parked in the driveways and all the buildings seemed in tack. His next door neighbor had made it all the way to the van and into the driver’s seat before he lost too much blood apparently. He was staring right at Jack. His lips were still moving and it looked like he was asking for help. But Jack knew it was too late. He jumped back inside and slammed the door. After walking into his room and picking up his sword and a couple of his dad’s guns and ammo he headed to the kitchen and filled a backpack with as much canned food as he could find, the gallon of Gatorade and some Mountain Dew, as well as his last carton of cigarettes. His sword was mainly for looks it wasn’t sharp but he had still been able to take out his room-mate and mom with it so he figured he’d better hold on to it in case he ran out of bullets. He was extremely lucky it was in the closet right next to where he was standing when he saw his mom as well as the blood on the floor.
He was tempted to go out to the shed to look for more ammo and his dad’s rifle but he didn’t want to risk it so instead he strapped his sword to his side, stuffed his pistol in his belt, and shouldered his backpack and shotgun. He flipped on the TV to see if there was any news but it was all static. Jack thought about calling Danny back to see if the phone networks were still up but he knew he’d lose all hope if the phone wasn’t working so he decided to try it when he got closer. Miami to Dallas was a long drive. He knew he’d have to stop for gas several times but he didn’t have much choice either, he hadn’t been able to get a hold of anyone else on the phone. Hopefully he’d find somewhere with a low population so he wouldn’t have to worry too much about zombies. As he looked around his house for the last time and at his parent’s bodies, the tears began to slowly roll out of his eyes. He whispered to no one in particular, “Oh, so this is how it feels. Goodbye dad… mom,” he stood for several more moments letting the feeling of grief take hold of him completely and then finally turned and walked out the door.
He hadn’t been on the road for more than an hour or so before his worries about him not being able to contact Danny had been dulled. Danny called him.
“Jack! What the fuck is going on man?”
“Danny, thank God you’re alright man. Is your brother…?”
“No.”
Jack could hear his friend quietly weeping in the background.
“I’m sorry man; believe me I know how it feels. Look I’m on my way I’m about an hour out of Miami I’ll be there as soon as I can. So far I haven’t seen much activity on the roads…everything’s dead.”
“Do you have a map?” Danny asked.
“Yeah,” Jack replied a little confused about the question.
“Alright,” Danny said, “I’m looking at one right now. I’m gonna try to meet up with you somewhere…I can’t stay here man.”
“I understand. Look, I don’t know if the phone networks are gonna stay up or not, the TV was out earlier, so let’s plan on meeting up on the border between Oklahoma and Texas on I35. I’m driving the Jeep bring as much food as you can and any thing you think would be useful.”
“Alright Jack…I’ll see you there man.”
“You bet your ass you will…be smart Danny.”
*Click*

Jack looked back to the road then took a look at his Gas Gauge. He figured he’d have about another 4 hours of driving before he had to refill but that would land him almost right in Tampa. And that would be no good. He popped another can of Mountain Dew and lit up his cigarette thinking about what could be going on. He was thinking back to all the different zombie movies he’d seen and it didn’t seem at all like the truth to him. When he had seen his mom she didn’t look anything like the zombies in movies she was just like she had been for most of his life, and yet there was something missing and she seemed intelligent…almost like an animal is intelligent. Like a cat that waits for the right moment to pounce.
Jack shuddered and then tried to wipe the memory out of his head. He flipped on the radio and went back to cruising. It was so strange to look around him and feel like everything was just fine and nothing had gone wrong. There weren’t any cars on the road. He saw one or two on the side of the road occasionally. Most had their lights still on but after those first few he didn’t bother to look inside them as he passed because he knew what he would see. There had been a gas station on fire at one of the exits he had passed but he was hopeful that he would find a gas station because he had seen several that seemed fine.
After another hour he was no where near a major city and figured it would be best to stop for some gas soon. Next gas sign he saw he pulled off I75 somewhere south of Sarasota. There was a BP not too far from the highway and he didn’t see too many cars around. In fact there was only one car at the BP which could mean a couple different things. For one there could be somebody inside who hadn’t been affected by the zombie outbreak in and around Miami at all. That seemed unlikely to Jack since Dallas had been hit as well, so he made sure to check that his pistol was loaded. Secondly it could mean that the person inside ended up becoming a zombie and was still in there. That seemed more likely but with the way that his mom had behaved he had to admit that a zombie not chasing down humans was a little odd. Third was the possibility that maybe someone else on the run was currently taking shelter in there which could be dangerous as well. In the end he decided he should at least check it out through the window and decide what to do then.
Jack stepped out of the jeep, looking around and listening for anything that might give someone else away. The lights in the gas station were on so he had a pretty clear view of what was going on in there and the answer to that was not much. He didn’t see any movement at all in fact it looked like the store was just fine. He walked closer to the window and took a look inside again and still didn’t see anything. Jack’s heart was pumping but he knew this was almost the perfect place for gas. He slowly reached out and took the handle to the door, then pulled it back and walked in slowly looking all around with his pistol in hand. As stupid as he felt saying anything when there might be a zombie in here that would come after him he felt he had too just in case there was a person in here that might attack him by mistake.
“Hello… is anybody in here?”
No response. He moved a little closer to the counter and took a peek over it. It had bullet proof glass but didn’t seem like there had been any conflict at all. He looked back out the windows and didn’t see anyone outside either.
“Hello!”
This time he heard something but he wasn’t sure what it was. It sounded kind of like a whimper. He checked over the counter again but still didn’t see anything. So he started moving from the windows towards the opposite wall and checking down the isles, still nothing.
“Hello! If you’re in here please talk to me so I don’t think you’re one of them.”
“Hello,” said a scared sounding voice. “Please don’t hurt me.” Jack finally heard where the voice was coming from and now heard crying as well.
“It’s ok, I’m gonna open the door to the bathroom alright?”
“O… ok.”
Jack moved towards the door making sure his footsteps were heard so as not to frighten the person too much. It sounded like a young girl but he couldn’t be sure. He slowly but steadily opened the door to the bathroom showing one hand. He then looked inside and saw the reason why the girl was so terrified. There was a big biker looking man who had had his head nearly cut off with a knife of some sort, laying right next to a girl with her back to the wall and a knife pointed right at Jack.
He couldn’t quite keep the shock out of his face as he said, “Its ok hun, what’s your name?”
“M…my name’s Sarah.” The poor girl looked scared half to death and he didn’t blame her. He couldn’t help but stare at the amount of blood all over the bathroom and Sarah. He felt a little bit like he was going to be sick, but he had a pretty strong stomach and turned his attention back to the girl instead.
“How long have you been in here Sarah?”
“I…I don’t know I’ve been in here for a long time. I just don’t want anyone to find out I killed somebody.” She looked terrified. He didn’t blame her, if she’d been in here since the outbreak then she wouldn’t know what was really going on outside.
“Did he attack you?”
“Y…yes he tried to…bite me or something.”
“It’s ok hun you won’t get in any trouble for this. Do you know what’s going on outside the gas station?”
“No not really, I just know that this guy came in while I was in the bathroom I told him to get out but he didn’t listen and walked strait towards me. I don’t usually carry this knife on me but I did today, I felt like I should…and he just came straight at me and grabbed my arms and tried to bite my neck. I’ve been in here since then.”
“Alright Sarah…something’s happened…something bad. I’m not even sure what it is, but it’s like a bunch of people turned into like…zombies or something.”
Jack saw the fear suddenly spring to life in Sarah’s eyes as he said this and immediately regretted it. But he didn’t know what else to do about it this might be the only other person alive besides him and Danny.
“Now it’s alright, don’t worry, I’ll keep you safe. I’m heading to Texas to meet up with a good friend of mine, he’s still alive. You can come with me if you want.”
Sarah looked like she would rather do nothing but sit in the bathroom with the zombie she’d killed. But she said, “What about my family?”
“Do you have a cell phone?”
“Yeah,” she said, although he could tell she didn’t understand why he would ask about a cell phone at a time like this.
Jack couldn’t stand doing this to her. He hated to know that this was going to hurt her as much as it had hurt him. He didn’t have a choice though, he quietly said “Call someone in your family if they don’t answer after a few calls then there is no point in trying to help them. I’m going to go fill up my gas tank and get what I can from the store. Come out when you’re ready to go.”
Sarah was a petite girl; she looked like she might be about seventeen years old. Long black hair and bright green eyes filled with tears but she seemed strengthened by Jack’s presence. She suddenly seemed like she was stronger then she had been a few minutes before and was back in control of herself. She said, “Ok,” with no more than a confident nod of her head. Jack went back outside of the bathroom and started picking up anything that seemed useful. He kept a watchful eye to the windows, checking to make sure nothing was moving about outside. He hadn’t brought his backpack in so he got a couple of the plastic bags from behind the counter and was putting some food and Mountain Dew in them when Sarah walked out of the bathroom. She had apparently washed herself up some and arranged her hair. She still looked like a mess with all the blood on her clothes but she seemed to have been able to get most of the blood off of her skin at least. Jack was stunned by how beautiful she was but at the same time kept his mind on the task at hand. He said, “Do you have any way of enabling me to pump gas without paying?”
“Yeah, I should be able to.”
“Good, I’m gonna pull the Jeep there up to the pump after I toss this stuff inside. After that I’ll come back inside and walk you out. Get anything you think will be useful. Oh and any chance I could have one of those knives?”
“Yeah sure I guess.”
“Alright cool.” Why not play the part of Rambo he thought to himself with a smile. This was actually a little fun he thought, but then he thought again about his family and changed his mind.
Jack walked out the front door and headed to his Jeep and threw the bags in the backseat. He went ahead and pulled out his sword and put it on too. He felt more comfortable wearing it. As soon as he had put it on he stepped back and shut the door quietly hoping to avoid causing too much noise and started walking around to the driver’s side where he was stopped by an old woman standing still. He quickly backed up and put his hand on his pistol. Then changed his mind and put a cautionary hand on his sword instead.
Jack mustered the best smile he could and said, “Howdy ma’am, are you alright?”
He took in the way she was looking at him with calculating little black eyes. She had on a tattered looking floral dress and had a purse clutched close at her side. She didn’t smile at him or do anything at all for that matter she just kept watching him with silent intent.
He walked slowly to the side and towards the gas station. He didn’t want to attack an old lady if she was an old lady but he also didn’t want to let his guard down. He quickly looked around him and didn’t see anyone else.
“Ma’am, is everything alright?”
Still no response, he slowly raised his sword out of the sheath and took another step back. The old woman suddenly burst into action turning towards him and jumping straight at him. He pulled his sword out the rest of the way quickly, making a kind of muffled ring, but didn’t have time to bring it to bear before she was on top of him. He dropped his sword with a metallic clang and grabbed her shoulders instead and pushed her up slightly to keep her fake teeth from reaching their intended destination, his neck. Jack realized she probably couldn’t even break flesh with fake teeth but decided not to find out.
Not a sound was made by the old woman as she steadily progressed towards Jack’s neck but he was breathing hard with the struggle and didn’t want to call out to Sarah in case there were more around. Her breath smelled faintly of decay and he had no wish to find out why.
He struggled to throw her off of him so he could grab one of his weapons and finish the job but she was unusually strong for a woman of her age. In the end he didn’t have to call out. Sarah had seen movement from inside and saw the old lady jump on top of Jack. She picked up her knife and ran out the door to where Jack was struggling with the old lady, and kicked her in the side. The force moved the lady enough that Jack was able to throw her off of him. He rolled back the other way and grabbed his sword and leapt back up to his feet as quickly as possible. He turned to look at where the old lady was, expecting her to still be on the floor but was amazed to see her already charging at him again. He yanked his sword back and then swung right at her neck with every once of strength he had left, but she put up her arm to block the cut and with the sword as dull as it was it didn’t cut through her arm but he heard the sickening crunch of bones being shattered. Her arm was bleeding and she was off balance for a second so Jack rushed in quickly to take the opportunity, this time planning on stabbing her directly. The woman didn’t turn in time and Jack caught her right in the chest pushing through into her heart. She fell slowly to the ground as Jack pulled out his sword, breathing heavily.
He looked at the old woman on the floor dying rather slower than he’d expected and she smiled at him. An icy cold shutter went down his spine as he stepped in closer wondering if he should finish her off some way or another, but as soon as he closed the distance her mouth opened some and she whispered, “We’re coming.” The sound of her voice was like jumping in a cold shower. He knew she was dead he knew it without any doubt but she still whispered to him in that dead voice. Shaking, he turned and looked at Sarah and asked, “Are you alright?”
“Yeah, let’s get out of here.”
“Sounds good to me,” he said, still shaking with a combination of icy dread and adrenaline. “You have everything you need?”
“Sure do,” she responded but then looked a little worried. “You never told me your name.”
“Name’s Jack, Jack Williams.
Sarah suddenly seemed relieved that this mystery man had a name. “Alright Jack. Let’s go.”
“Yeah let’s, oh, I almost forgot to get cigarettes! You smoke?”
“I’m about to start,” she said seriously.
Jack smiled inwardly a little at the look on her face. He hopped in the Jeep and pulled it up to the Pump. Sarah said she’d pump the gas and Jack went in and picked up a cheap gas station knife and a couple of cartons of cigarettes. They both hopped in the Jeep once Sarah finished with the gas then headed back to the highway. Looking in the rearview mirror, Jack was horrified when he saw zombies coming out of almost every building they were leaving behind, walking towards the gas station. If they had stayed there any longer they would’ve been goners for sure. Jack looked at Sarah and decided not to mention it; she probably didn’t need that thought in her head. He popped open a Mountain Dew and handed her a one of the two cigarettes he pulled out of the pack. “So no answer on the phone, huh?”
She didn’t look at him when she responded after a little bit, “nope,” was all she had to say.
“I’m sorry Sarah, I really am,” Jack frowned at his inability to say more passed the lump in his throat. He reached over and patted her knee affectionately. Sarah turned and looked at him in surprise and then realized that she wasn’t the only one who had lost people she loved.
“I’m sorry Jack, I don’t even know what’s going on, but I’m sorry to be so selfish.”
Jack patted her knee again and then flipped the radio on at low volume and took another drag. He had plenty of things going through his head but out loud he only said, “I don’t really know what’s going on yet either Hun. I’m just trying to stay alive. Sarah looked at his thoughtful face and realized how old he looked to her. He couldn’t be older than his early 20’s but the pain made him seem so much more. She didn’t know what kind of pain it was but regardless she thought he was pretty hansom. He had medium length dark brown hair and whenever he turned to look at her his light blue eyes seemed to be sucking all the thoughts right out of her head. He seemed to be a little out of shape and she guessed that might have some part to play with the pain set in his features he didn’t seem like the type of person to let him self go so much. Occasionally when his thoughts got to be too overwhelming he would run a hand back through his hair to release some of the mental tension.
She finally said, “So… how come you have a sword? I don’t think I’ve ever seen a real one.”
Jack looked at her for a second feeling the fond memories come back to the surface. “My friend,” he said, “the one we’re going to meet in Texas. Me and Danny used to think we were pretty cool.” Jack smiled at the memory then went on with the explanation. “We went out and bought two matching swords so we could fight evil or something. That was way back in middle school though. The swords are actually pretty cheap I think we got ‘em from a pawn shop down in Miami. Probably didn’t pay more than sixty bucks for the both of ‘em.” He seemed to come a little more alive with the memory as if thinking about good times was all that was needed to banish the depressing state of things in the present situation. He felt a twinge of pain in his back and stretched a little trying to ease the pain, he hadn’t thought to grab any Advil at the gas station, and he suddenly realized how much pain that brief encounter with the zombie lady had actually caused. Pulling out another two cigarettes he lit them and passed one to Sarah. She seemed to appreciate the gesture and took the lit cigarette with a smile.
Jack saw the smile in her eyes and felt like he was being sucked into oblivion with the road being all that kept him in the world. If only he could let everything go and slip into the afterlife… if only. He shook himself out of it suddenly realizing that he was staring at Sarah and seemed to be making her a little uncomfortable. He looked back to the road and went back to thinking about what in the world was going on. He realized that the old lady that had attacked him hadn’t had any bite marks on her, for some reason that realization forced him to think about how the virus, or whatever it was, was spreading. It didn’t seem to make sense that his mom had been the first one to become a zombie, what could have possibly instigated it? Maybe this was the end times from the bible. Maybe this was what it meant by the beast, after all, all the zombies were definitely quite beast like. He started letting his mind drift has he listened to the radio and then he suddenly realized something quite odd.
The radio was working.
That didn’t seem to make sense, and the phones shouldn’t be working either. Of course he’d been driving for a while so he didn’t know for sure that the phones were still working, but the TV not working where as the phone and radio were… that seemed exceedingly strange. He didn’t usually listen to any of the news stations on the radio but he decided to check it out and switched it to the AM stations, looking for some understanding.
Sarah turned from looking out into the night and looked at Jack with a surprised expression. “Hey what are you doing? I love that song.”
Jack couldn’t help but laugh. “Everyone’s turned into zombies and you would rather listen to a song than try to figure out what’s going on?” She suddenly looked sheepish when she realized what he was doing and could only manage a grunt of acknowledgement. As she turned back to the window he could see a small smile on the side of her face but he didn’t mention anything and instead went back to looking for a news station.
…Yes we’re really lucky that Hope was here to help us all. I can’t imagine what we would have done without them stepping in when the outbreak started.
Well Bob you’re definitely right about that.
*Chuckling*
Anyways, this can only be a change for the better. For any of you listeners out there that have just tuned in, if you don’t already know there has been a massive zombie outbreak all across the world. We’re still unsure as to what actually started the outbreak but we’ve been assured that the best minds in the world are working to come up with a solution. In the mean time with the majority of the US government having been taken in the initial outbreak we’re proud to say that the Hope association has stepped in to hold things together here in the US while we get back on our feet.
You know Bill I’m really glad that Hope stepped in when they did. To be honest, I’m not at all sure that there’d be anyone left if they hadn’t.
*Sigh*
Your right about that Bob, these are sure to be tough times, but at the very least we’ve got capable leaders who can keep us going through the worst of it while we figure out how extensive the damage is and what we need to do to fix what’s been done. In the meanwhile the Hope Association would like to ask anyone who hasn’t called in for help before now to do so. Just call 1800-555-5487 and Hope will be on it’s way to you. They’ve explained that they have choppers at the ready to come and pick you up and take you to a safe zone. We understand how difficult it might be for you to get passed the losses but we urge you to call in and get help now.
Well Bob it looks like we’re getting some info here. It seems like Hope has found out that the virus somehow started in the tap water of major cities.
Wow Bill that’s truly horrible, did they say if it was some kind of terrorist attack?
No Bob they don’t seem to have any other information at the moment but they’re urging everyone to stay away from any kind of water for the time being, there’s a good chance that the major cities in each state are infected but they don’t seem to know how extensive the damage is yet. If you have any thoughts or need help please give us a call at 1800-555-5487. Again that number is 1800-555-5487, give us a call…
Jack flipped off the radio shocked by the seemingly casual reaction to the news. He shared a quick look with Sarah before looking back to the road and pulling out yet another pair of cigarettes for him and Sarah.
“You’d better get some sleep after this Hun. I don’t think it would be a good idea to sleep at the same time, so we’ll take shifts driving if that’s ok with you.”
Sarah nodded and then took the cigarette Jack offered her. She liked it when he called her Hun. Something about how confident he seemed made her feel all the more at ease. She said, “I don’t know if I’ll ever sleep again after today.”
Jack smiled at her but didn’t have anything really comforting to say. She seemed to suddenly look a little uneasy and he didn’t know why but he figured she’d speak her mind when she was ready.
She looked ready.
“Jack…you haven’t had any water have you?” He suddenly understood her uneasiness and thought back to the last several days.
“No I haven’t I’ve only had Gatorade and Mountain Dew over the last several days.” He hated to ask but knew that he had to, “and you?”
She seemed to suddenly realize that she might be in danger and started thinking hard. “I don’t know Jack.” She looked into his eyes and the fear there seemed all too real. “God I don’t think so but I don’t know.”
Jack laid a hand on her knee and looked right back at her as he pulled a smile from somewhere behind the terror he felt. “I’m sure it will be alright Hun don’t you worry. Besides it seems like most people that were infected changed immediately, and you haven’t yet so I would guess that’s probably a sign for the best.” This time the smile was a little more sincere, his reasoning seemed to be pretty accurate after all, and if nothing else she would be the one sleeping first. He despised himself for even thinking he could hurt Sarah especially since she had practically saved his life earlier, but somehow he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would do what he had to do to survive.
She didn’t seem to notice his dark thoughts and instead whispered a sincere “thanks” before leaning her chair back and trying to get some sleep. Before long the wind roaring through the Jeep lulled her into a deep sleep.

Chapter 2

Sarah woke up with a start and looked around her. She couldn’t see anything and she was on the verge of panic, there was no light and only the occasional noises that you would usually hear in a wooded area. She realized that she was still in the Jeep, she could feel the shape of the seat. She slowly moved her hand to her right hip where she kept her knife. Looking over to where Jack should be sitting in the driver’s seat she didn’t see him, and she assumed that if he had been sitting there she would see the cherry of his cigarette. That man smoked about as much as a forest fire. That thought made Sarah smile a bit, she liked Jack a lot, and there was something about his rugged personality that was comforting and straightforward. The smile that had briefly stole onto her face disappeared however when she realized that she had no idea where he was and if he was alright. Her thoughts came to a sudden stop when she heard some low grunting and heavy breathing coming from right outside the Jeep. Oh God she thought they’ve got him and they’re ripping him apart right outside the car. Sarah felt her heart beating faster than she knew it could and realized that no matter what she couldn’t panic, if she was going to get out of this mess alive then she had to keep cool. Keep cool, that’s easy when they’re eating your buddy Jack Williams right next to you. Shut up Sarah you don’t know what’s going on. Maybe that’s just Jack outside doing…. Something…I don’t know.
Luckily Sarah was saved some suspense when she heard the grunting voice spit out some rather choice expletives. “Jack? Is that you?”
“Shhh.” She looked out the window and jumped when she found Jack staring at her. “Sorry Sarah, stay quiet though, I pulled off when I heard some cars coming down the road. I don’t wanna take any chances.”
Sarah let out a breath of relief when she realized that everything was going to be alright, but then Jack had to spoil it. “Actually… don’t get to relieved I blew a tire when I pulled off the road. I…I don’t have a spare.”
“Shit! Jack I don’t wanna go walking off through God knows where! Two zombies were more than enough for me. Jack, what are we gonna do?”
“Well we’ve got a couple choices the way I see it. We could just keep driving on it till we find another car to take, that’s not a bad idea except that it might draw some unwanted attention. The tire came completely off so we’d be making a lot of noise, and honestly I don’t like being noisy.” Sarah shook her head agreeing with Jack that that would be no good.
“We could sit out by the road and wait to see if someone drives by, chances are that anyone driving is alive, but I don’t think I’ve actually seen a car on the road in 8 or 9 hours of driving, so there aren’t any guarantees that one will come by.” Jack paused for a minute and raked his hand back through his hair to free up some tension. When he looked back up Sarah could see that he didn’t even want to mention any other options, but it didn’t seem like they had much choice. “I could walk down the road till I find another car then come back and pick you up.”
Sarah immediately started shaking her head, “no Jack I don’t think it’s a good idea to split up, that’s just too dangerous. We should walk together, take what we can and then if we need to we can come back and pick up some of our things once we find another car.”
She could see that Jack had already thought about it, she read it in his eyes, but for some reason even though he knew that was the best way he was resisting the idea for some reason. “Jack what’s wrong with us both going?”
“Technically? Nothing. Emotionally? Well that’ll be something. I don’t mean to say you can’t handle your share of things, but I’ve seen what’s inside the cars on the road, it’s not at all pretty Sarah, it’ll haunt you for the rest of your life if you see what I’ve seen.”
“Jack don’t try to protect me from this shit, you know that we’ve got no choice! We’ve gotta follow our instincts here and do what we have to do, not just what’s convenient.”
That seemed to hit Jack pretty hard, he stepped back away from the car and looked at the ground. “I just… look I don’t want you to think about your family like that. No one should have to see that.” Jack looked up into Sarah’s eyes and saw the realization hit home, her family was dead, not some cute death where you get old and die in your sleep, or even just having a heart attack or something, this was grizzly. It was the type of death that you wouldn’t wish on the person you hated most in the world. All she said was, “oh,” while the tears that she hadn’t shed over her family started rolling down her cheeks. Jack reached in through the windows and pulled her towards him and held her tightly while she let out the pain of loss. “I’m so sorry,” whispered Jack. Sarah didn’t know that Jack wasn’t really talking to her, but was thankful for the kind words. She honestly hadn’t really thought about what might have happened to her family, and now that she was thinking about it, and thinking about how that zombie had attacked her in the bathroom, the pain was stronger than anything she’d ever felt before. The tears pouring down Sarah’s cheeks felt like her life slowly draining out of her, and she worried that a cold shell was all that would be left of her before long. But when she finally felt the pain reside for a time she realized that she was in the warm arms of Jack and that she wasn’t alone and she wouldn’t ever feel cold.
“Come on jack, its best if we both go, I’ll be alright with you there.” A smile that had been hiding somewhere inside her grief finally immerged in front of Jack and he felt like the sun was shining on him, even if it was the middle of the night by now. “Alright let’s go,” said Jack and beginning gathering his things, he looked back at Sarah when she hadn’t moved and saw her watching him with a look in her eyes that spoke of commiseration and empathy. Jack was hurting inside too and knew that he had to let it out at some point but he didn’t want to let it go just yet. It felt too good to hold on to these feelings, it made him feel like he was still alive. For Sarah’s sake he put a warm smile on his face that he knew wouldn’t touch his eyes, but he gave it what he had and knew that Sarah would accept it.

ﻼ
They’d been walking for a good hour before they finally spotted a car. It wasn’t great, from the distance they were standing it looked like a 90’s Honda civic. It had wheels though and that put it a good deal higher in Jack’s mind than his Jeep. He still had an odd attachment to the Jeep, even though it wasn’t even technically his car, it seemed like having the Jeep still kept him grounded in something solid. Pull yourself together Jack staying alive is pretty fucking solid don’t you think? Yeah I do as a matter of fact. Then get that damn car and let’s get the fuck out of here. Shut up I know what I’m doing. Says the guy with walking around with a katana strapped to his waist, your fucking nuts man. Thanks bud glad you’re around to keep me straight, now if you don’t mind I’m trying to keep both our asses alive at the moment.
“Jack, are you alright?”
“Yeah I’m dandy, just trying to figure out how to approach this.” Jack had been crouching on the side of the road looking at the car about twenty yards down the road for some time and it was obvious that Sarah was starting to wonder if he planned on going through with this. “Way I figure it we have to walk up to it no matter what, the question is what are we gonna do if it’s something we didn’t expect.”
“What do you mean? There’s not much to expect right about now but dead bodies.”
“Well it could be dead bodies, but that’s far from the worst possibility,” said Jack with and icy glare at Sarah. He didn’t feel at all like himself and he needed to straighten up, he could tell his attitude was affecting Sarah. It seemed like she was watching him to make sure he wouldn’t turn into a zombie or something. “Look,” said Jack while he sent a hand back through his hair to release some tension, “I just don’t wanna walk into a nest full of zombies or whatever. Plus what if there are people in that car that are sleeping for the night. If you got dragged out of your car in the middle of the night wouldn’t you shoot first and ask later?”
“Well yeah…I guess that makes since. Sorry Jack, I guess we need to think this out.”
“Well not really, I’ve pretty much thought it all out about a dozen times, I just can’t seem to make my legs move.”
“I’m scared too…”
“It’s not that,” Jack interrupted harshly. “I don’t know what it is but it’s not that,” he said a little nicer. “I’ve just got a bad feeling about this.”
Sarah was clearly annoyed, not only at being cut off, but also by Jack’s ‘feelings,’ whatever those were. “Well Jack we’ve either gotta get that car or go back, and personally, I didn’t walk for the last damn hour to go back.” On that note Sarah stood up straight and started walking for the car. Jack didn’t have much choice the moment she started walking and made his legs start moving as well. He slipped his katana out of it’s sheath and whistled lightly at Sarah. Jack was pretty sure that Sarah had every intention of ignoring him, but she only walked a few more paces before turning to find Jack offering her his pistol. All she said was, “Oh, right.” Now that Jack had knocked some of the steam out of her and took the lead he was feeling better about the whole situation, after all how bad could it be? Well I guess I’ll find out in about twenty yards. It’ll be fine, relax. Shut up, you’re not making me feel any better.
Jack felt a sense of dread unlike anything he’d ever felt before as he approached the car. He felt solid internally, as if he had already hardened himself for the inevitable events to unfold, but there was still a palpable knowledge that something was utterly and unforgivably wrong with this car on this road in this place. Jack looked at Sarah and she was looking right back at him, allowing him to make the first move. “I guess we should knock,” Jack said a little dumbly.
*Knock Knock Knock*
“Anybody in there?”
“Jacky boy, so good to see you again,” said a voice from the driver’s seat that sounded something like hell incarnate. The raspy voice paused to allow Jack to wonder before beginning to speak again. “Jacky boy, we want you, we’ve been waiting.”
Now Jack knew exactly why he’d been feeling that sense of dread ever since they found this car. They’d been expecting him. Who they were didn’t really matter, they were here, waiting for poor little Jacky boy. What were they gonna do to him? Eat him while he was still alive? Rip his throat out? Snap out of it Jack! You’re the one that got us into this mess in the first place, or don’t you remember telling me to get the car? Well it’s just common sense man, you need a car if you’re going to get out of this.
“Stunned silent are you Jacky boy? Now that is a surprise!” Maniacal raspy laughter issued forth from some unseen location in the car. “Enough games, Jacky boy I’ve come to recruit you, we’ve been watching you for some time and we’ve decided that you’re just what we’ve been looking for. One of many fresh recruits that we plan on training to make the world a better place. Jacky boy, think of it, you could be one of the few, the proud, the… well we haven’t really come up with a name for you yet, but it’ll sound pretty damn good.” At this point the body behind the raspy voice finally opened the door to the civic and stepped out of the car. He was a rotund man that looked to be middle aged. He was wearing a suit and had blood smeared all around the neckline and white beard.
Jack realized that he was talking to a zombie.
“A zombie, oh yes, that’s what these creatures are in a sense…our little human machines.” The zombie jerked it’s hand up and patted itself on the head a few times and followed the action with a long raspy laugh. “You’ve got a choice Jacky boy, and you’d better make up your mind rather quick, this one’s getting hungry and I’m afraid I can’t hold it back forever. You can either allow us to take you in, we’ll train you, give you everything you need, food, entertainment, your own place, and believe me the entertainment is rather good. We’d even let you keep this little pet of yours, Sarah isn’t it? What a lovely name.” At this point the zombie-man started to drool. “Or, you can die.”
“I have to be honest with you Mr. Zombie,” said Jack with some of his old sarcastic wit, “I find it hard to trust the person that was behind a global outbreak that’s probably killed more people than anything that’s gone before.”
“I’m not really asking you to trust me Jacky boy, I’m just asking you to join us or die. Seems like an easy enough choice really.”
“I think I’ll take option three.”
There was something of a puzzled look in the zombie’s eyes before Jack put his sword through one of them. As the creature slid off Jack’s blade he could’ve sworn he heard it say, “You’re making a big mistake Jacky boy.”
“Get in the car Sarah, we need to get out of here.”
“No arguments here,” said Sarah.
A few minutes later and a couple miles away Sarah decided it was time to get some answers. “So what was all that about Jack?”
Jack looked at Sarah and realized that she thought he actually knew what was going on. “What you think I know what this is all about? Hell I’ve never seen that dead guy in my life, and I’m pretty sure I don’t know anyone who planned on taking over the world.”
“Well how did they know you would be there? And why you, it can’t just be coincidence.”
“I told you there was something wrong with that car,” muttered Jack.
“Wait…how did you know there was something wrong? It’s like you knew that someone was waiting for us. Where are we going anyways Texas? What’s in Texas Jack?”
At this point Jack was getting to be a little fed up with all the questions that he didn’t have answers to, and the fact that Sarah was questioning him didn’t exactly soften his mood. He knew it was coming before it did but that couldn’t stop it. That nasty part of himself that had always been around in a time of need popped it’s ugly head out at last.
“You know what Sarah, I’ve been nothing but nice to you, I’ve done nothing but try to help you out and keep you alive, and now you’re gonna turn on me just because some zombie starts talking a bunch of shit that I don’t know shit about! I’ve had about all I can take of you questioning me, acting like this is all some sort of conspiracy against you. Next car we see you can just go your own fucking way if you want to, I’m not gonna stop you from getting yourself killed.” As soon as the words were out of his mouth he wanted to shoot himself for saying them. He could see Sarah’s face scrunch up in surprise and pain, and the tears begin to roll down her cheeks. “Look Sarah…”
“Fuck you Jack, I don’t wanna hear it. There’s a car let me out.”
“Sarah I didn’t mean to…”
*Slam*
Now you’ve really gone and done it Jack. SHUT UP! Don’t get mad at me it was you who said what you did. Leave me alone I don’t wanna hear about it. Sarah’s going to die now Jack. She’s going to get ripped apart by zombies all because you couldn’t control your tongue. She’s probably got a better chance than I do. Keep telling yourself that Jack, just keep telling yourself that.
Jack started driving again and didn’t look back, in a way Jack saved Sarah that day. As he drove down the road, less than a mile from where Sarah had gotten out, a flood light was flipped on and several men armed to the teeth dragged Jack out of the car and off the road into a small camp.

Chapter 3

When Jack finally woke up, he was cold and his lip was throbbing. The cold part wasn’t too odd as it was getting late in the year and the top part of Florida can get a little chilly. The lip part made sense too once he thought about it and realized that somebody had elbowed him in the mouth while pulling him out of the car. He guessed that the part that didn’t make sense at all was why he had been dragged out of his car in the first place, and also why he wasn’t in tiny pieces distributed in the many bellies of a few dozen zombies. All he remembered before he was knocked unconscious was Sarah getting out of the car and then the floodlight. As he began to take stock of his surroundings he wasn’t really surprised to find campfire not too far away and several people sitting around it. What he smelled must have been what passed for food in the area. He was lying on the ground near the car he had picked up earlier and realized that there was a sentry watching over him while the others ate. Not that it would matter much, he couldn’t move his arms as it was because his hands were tied behind his back.
“Pris’ner’s up Cap’n,” said the hungry looking man leaning against the car near Jack’s head.
“Good for him I s’pose,” replied the gruff voice of the ‘cap’n.’
Jack rather wanted to bring out some of his sarcastic wit, but he decided that now probably wasn’t the best time to start testing these men. They sounded amiable enough, but they had also knocked him unconscious and dragged him out of his car.
“Cap’n you said I’as supposed to tell you when the pris’ner woke up,” said the deflated sounding guard.
“Well now you done and told me Scotty, damned if you can’t just watch him for ‘nother five minutes so I can finish m’ damn meal.” Looks like they’ll be killing me after they’ve eaten I suppose. Scotty seemed to accept his lot in life and lay back against the car. “Don’t try nuthin foolish you here pris’ner?”
“Don’t suppose I could if I wanted to with my hands tied up.” Jack winced immediately suspecting a swift kick to the head, but instead Scotty replied with a laugh, spit, and, “Don’t s’pose you could.”
“Damn it Scotty I didn’t tell you to talk to ‘em, just said to watch ‘em.”
“Pologies Cap’n.”
With a feigned tolerance ‘Cap’n’ sighed and said, “Well get over here and get you some grub while it’s still fresh.”
“What about the pris’ner cap’n?”
“Said it y’urself, he ain’t going nowhere.”
While Jack felt that talking might put him at a disadvantage he couldn’t help but feel victimized in the situation. After all, the world had gone to hell yesterday and now he’d been taken prisoner by God-knows-who for God-knows-what reason. After simmering quietly near the car for a few more seconds he couldn’t hold his tongue much longer. “What’s this all about anyways cap’n? All I know so far is that the world went to hell yesterday and today you’ve taken me as your prisoner for no particular reason.”
The Cap’n wasn’t as stupid as his friend Scotty and caught the sarcasm in Jack’s voice very clearly. He was about five-foot-six wearing what looked to be an old navy full trench. It was clear to Jack that the sawed off shot gun at his hip wasn’t there for looks. His scrunched up eyes were hard to see in the dark, but his posture told Jack that he meant business. It seemed that they had a very good reason to be holding him hostage.
“Now, now Mr. that ain’t no way to talk to your host now is it? Heard tell a little please and thank you goes a long way in this day ‘n age.”
“Well I’d love for you to untie me Cap’n…please…and thank you.”
“Not just yet I’m afraid. I got to be askin’ you some questions first. Where’d you get this car sonny?”
Surprised by the question Jack didn’t hesitate to answer the question. “I got it back down the road about three or five miles.”
“That so is it? Three or five miles ain’t a long way son, ain’t much out there but road. How’d you get it?”
Jack was becoming more suspicious and starting to wonder if maybe these weren’t some of the ‘recruits’ Mr. Zombie was talking about before the conversation ‘abruptly’ ended.
“Let me make the question a little simpler for you to answer. One of our boys was driving this car today to go get some supplies. He didn’t get back, but you did in his car. What I’m asking you is did you kill one of my boys?” The malice in the Cap’n’s expression was clearly evident and Jack was trying to keep his tongue on it’s best behavior.
“I killed a man wearing a suit with a white beard, but he was already dead when I ran into him, if you get my meaning.”
It was obvious that the Cap’n was trying to decide whether or not to believe Jack, but that was fine with him. Jack had always been the honest type and most people ended up believing him, so he wasn’t too worried.
“And what’s a man like you carrying around one of these for,” the Cap’n asked as he lifted up Jack’s Katana. “Much less carrying around one without an edge on it?”
At this Jack internally relaxed and both he and the Cap’n smiled widely. It was obvious that the Cap’n felt a trained killer should at least have a sharp weapon.
“Well I have to be honest I didn’t pin you for the killin’ type, but if you like I can sharpen this here blade up for you a bit so it’ll be a little more useful, in the meantime why don’t you tell me a little more ‘bout yourself and how you came to be up our way. To start with I wouldn’t mind knownin’ a stranger’s name.”
The Cap’n walked over to Jack and untied his bounds and helped him to his feet and then over to the fire where they both sat down and the Cap’n began to work at sharpening the sword while Jack began the story of the craziest thirty-something hours he’d ever known. He started out with, “Name’s Jack Williams, and to be honest, I’m glad to find more people that aren’t dead, I was really starting to get worried there.”
After the initial unpleasantness of going back over the zombie crisis, the pain of which no one seemed to have escaped, the whole group was enjoying conversation with “another one that made it.” The Cap’n did a nice job sharpening up Jack’s katana and before long they were all spreading out around the fire and dozing off. Jack and the Cap’n continued talking long past the first soft snores that infiltrated the night.
After a while Jack finally paused and realized that as of yet he didn’t know whether the Cap’n had an actual name or not. “Do you have a name Cap’n?”
“Good question. And one not easily answered. You see, as of a few days ago I had a name. I also had a family and a life for that matter. Doesn’t seem fit to keep wearin’ a name when I lost all the rest of it, although I s’pose good ol’ Job kept his name even after losin’ everything he’d ever loved.”
“Amen to that Cap’n, sorry I asked.” Jack felt the beginning and familiar tide of grief start coming in and decided to change the subject, but before he had a chance to do that the Cap’n responded to his question.
“Name’s Robert, Robert Coleman, and it’s a pleasure to be known.” Robert definitely fit this man, but at the same time in many ways he seemed to have truly grown into his new name Cap’n and Jack didn’t think that he’d go back very easily. There was an absolute about this man, a solidity that Jack hadn’t found in very many people before or after it happened. This was the type of man that kept his promises, and Jack had a feeling that this man had made many promises after it happened.
“Well Robert, I have to be honest, the name fits you well. Rather like one of God’s more humorous aspects, naming you a name that you would never be able to wear again, and feel sane at the same time. But I think I rather prefer to keep you a little off kilter if you don’t mind, seems to me that you’ve been thinking about a way to get back at them.”
“Them?” asked the Cap’n.
“Yes them,” replied Jack in a harsh whisper.
He paused for a moment, not knowing whether he should go on with what he was intending to say, after all he didn’t really know this man from Adam, and he wasn’t fond of trusting in unknowns. At the same time, Jack was getting one of those feelings that he got from time to time…the feeling that as ludicrous as it may be, he should trust this man.
“The radios work and cell phones work. The TV doesn’t work. I’m not sure why that’s significant but it is. Early on when I was still driving up 75 after I picked up…shit.”
“What? What is it?” asked Robert, clearly dumbfounded by the abrupt halt to conversation.
“Do you have men watching the road?”
“Yes all the time, just in case survivors come along we can take ‘em aside and let ‘em get a good night’s sleep.”
“How do you keep in touch? Do you have walky talkies? Are they supposed to let you know about whatever they see?”
“Erm…We don’t have any walky talkies, but all they have to do is tug on a string, we’ve got two strings tied up to these two branches over here.” Robert pointed at the designated branches which hadn’t moved since they’d taken Jack in. “One means trouble, the other means survivors. What’s the matter Jack?”
Jack was already figuring all the different angles on the situation trying to figure out what could’ve happened. If Sarah had taken the car and followed the same direction as Jack she should’ve been intercepted by Robert’s men and brought in as well, even if she wasn’t happy with Jack at least she would be safe then, but as of yet she still hadn’t showed which meant that she hadn’t gone anywhere or had gone back the other way.
What do you think Jacky boy? Don’t call me that. You left a girl alone with a car and absolutely no direction, she should’ve followed you right away when she realized how hopeless the situation was. Maybe not she could’ve gone home. In your dreams, you know it as well as I, she should be sitting right here next to you but she’s not, that means she’s either dead, or… Or What?! Or Robert’s men can’t be trusted with a lovely young lady. You’re shitting me. Nope. Dammit you’re right, she’s dead or being raped.
Finally coming to a solid decision Jack turned back to Robert, who was still completely puzzled as to the cause of the current predicament. “Do you trust the men you have at the road?”
“Umm, well there ain’t much to trust ‘em with, just a whole lot of road.”
“But do you trust them Robert? Would you trust them with your daughter?”
“Hell no, but I don’t have to worry much about that now a’days.”
“Shit, take me to them, now.”
“Well hold your horses there Jack, why are we in such a hurry all the sudden?”
“Look Robert, you found me innocent before, now find me worthy of your trust. I need to make sure or I’d never forgive myself.”
After scrunching his eyes up tight and looking at Jack’s face for a moment Robert finally consented. “If it’ll make you feel better.”
“Bring a gun,” said Jack even as he was following the line from the branch. He suddenly had a thought and jerked on the ‘trouble’ line before continuing on with Robert on his tail. It didn’t take them long to reach the ‘look out.’

ﻼ
Sarah was scared out of her mind, almost as soon as she had seen the floodlight hit the road she had wanted to go after Jack but caution took the lead and instead of heading right into possible danger with no way of helping Jack, she instead watched to see what was going on. As soon as Jack was dragged out of the car she got a good look at who was doing the dragging and realized that at least they wouldn’t be eating Jack, they weren’t zombies, but what looked like a couple of back woods types. The fact that they knocked Jack unconscious and dragged him out of the car, while worrisome, was also a good sign, it meant that they didn’t intend on killing him right away.
It took a bit of time for her to formulate a plan but finally she decided to try to sneak up to the area and watch what was going on. She didn’t count on being extremely noisy in the bushes and getting caught. After all, no hero was ever caught sneaking around in the movies, that was the bad guy’s job. At first she wasn’t too worried, the men tied her up and started asking her questions. What was she doing in the bushes? Why was she trying to sneak up on them? How did she get all the way out here without a car? Soon enough the questions took a drastic turn, the big man had been silent for most of the questioning with the little one doing the talking, but soon enough the big one stepped forward and asked with a chilling smile, “So what are you going to do for us lonely gentlemen out here in the woods?” The little one caught his drift and soon enough they were both getting worked up. Sarah had never really had to deal with anything of the sort, in a civilized world she’d never had anybody try to do anything but go on a date with her, and maybe steal a kiss, this was something much more sinister then she’d ever imagined.
As the big man and the little man fought over who would get the first turn Sarah suddenly started thinking of Jack. He had tried to say he was sorry, but she hadn’t wanted to hear it and got out of the car, what if she had let it go and just gone on. Would they both have been knocked out and dragged off for some unknown reason? Would she be in this situation now if she had just let Jack’s heated and irresponsible words go? Everyone’s tongue slipped occasionally, she’d lashed out plenty of times with little reason. At this point Sarah’s introversion came to an abrupt end when the big man’s tongue suddenly penetrated Sarah’s surprised mouth. Before she had realized what was happening she was on her back with two or three hundred pounds of crazed man on top of her and a hand trying to unbutton her pants. Before she even realized what she was doing she had bit down hard on the man’s tongue. She tasted blood in her mouth, and then felt the weight of him lift off of her. She was excited at first, thinking she had escaped the inevitable, when suddenly the man’s hand which had been trying to get her pants off slapped her hard across the face. Dizzy with pain and surprise she suddenly felt something that she’d never truly felt before, a horror that surpassed even the terrible time when a zombie had attacked her in the bathroom.
She felt terrified to the very depths of her soul. This wasn’t about physical pain or even emotional hurt, this was about her dignity. This was about her confidence. This was about the essence of who she was, being used like it was of no consequence. She heard voices again, but couldn’t understand them. She was thankful that she didn’t feel anyone’s hands on her or anyone’s weight, but at the same time the longer she didn’t feel anything, the more afraid she became. It was as if they knew that waiting would terrify her that much more so they put off their lust for the specific purpose of fucking with her mind and driving her into insanity. When Sarah finally couldn’t stand the feeling anymore she opened her eyes to see what the wait was. That’s when she saw Jack.
Something about his eyes was different and he was holding his Katana out in front of him looking right at the big man. Where his eyes were usually cold and detached from the world of the living, there was a new fire and vigor inside his eyes that looked to Sarah something like the wrath of God. Jack was justice incarnate, come to lay waist to the horrible injustice of rapists.
The big man leapt at Jack quickly trying to take him from the side so that he couldn’t bring his Katana to bare, but Jack was much quicker. The passion inside him was guiding his sword and he simply turned his sword to the left away from his attacker and the brought it around in an arc cleanly severing the big man’s head. Jack hadn’t even stopped looking at the little man while he killed the big man, and now the little man was shaking in his boots, gesturing that it was the big man’s idea all along, and he was too afraid not to let him have his way. Jack turned and there was another man with a shotgun. Jack never let down his guard but let the man with the shotgun know to decide the fate of the little man before finally turning to Sarah, lying on the floor crying with joy that she’d been saved.
“Sarah, are you ok? I’m so sorry Sarah,” said Jack before reaching down and picking Sarah up off the floor. He cut the rope holding her wrists and when he did Sarah put every ounce of strength she had into hugging the life out of Jack. She kept whispering in his ear, “Jack oh Jack you came for me Jack. Thank you Jack thank you!”

In All the Heavenly Places

Trial and Success

Straining with the effort of the fight, breathing heavily, he barely dodged the last punch. He sent out a kick of his own to deflect the onslaught but it was to hardly any avail. His enemy blocked the kick easily and then returned the attack in kind. Jacob was nearly done for and he knew it. He back-peddled swiftly hoping to make a small retreat and get his wind back after the last blow to his stomach. He staggered slightly as he side-stepped the next swing. Jacob was getting dizzier by the moment and knew he couldn’t last much longer at this rate. He had to do something to stop the on-coming attack. Everything seemed to slow abruptly as his enemy descended on him in an agonizingly slow kick that would most likely knock him unconscious. He felt his heart beat once and in that time Jacob shifted his weight to his left foot preparing to step under the kick and attack from below. The foot of his attacker swept in and Jacob ducked under it coming up beneath the leg he threw his weight against his attacker. As his heart beat for the second time, he suddenly realized there was nothing in front of him. He couldn’t make sense of what had just happened it was as if his attacker had suddenly vanished. Too late he realized what had really happened. He felt his enemy’s weight on one shoulder where he had lightly jumped directly over Jacob. He knew what was coming next but hated to know it.

And then he felt it. A solid thunk on the back of his head where he knew an elbow had landed. Time moved again and he was suddenly lying on his stomach, face pressed against the ground, his attacker’s knee on the back of his neck. He gave up and tapped three times.

“Very good Jacob, very good indeed,” his Sensei congratulated him with a smile down at his crumpled body lying on the ground.

Jacob groaned as he slowly got to his feet. “Well it doesn’t feel all that great Sensei.”

“Oh I suppose not, need to take a breather?” His Sensei was still beaming a joyous smile at him. Jacob wanted nothing more than to wipe that goofy smile off his face but instead he found himself beaming a smile of his own through his sweat as he gathered his senses and let his breathing even out.

“A breather sounds great,” he exhaled. He looked around at his other teachers and the students who had watched the spar with great interest. They all seemed to be giggling at something they thought quite funny and he had a suspicion that they were giggling at his expense. He scowled at them and they laughed all the harder, he grunted and walked towards the water fountain at one end of the Dojo. Another of Sensei began sparing with one of the younger students as he leaned over to gulp down some cold water. Sensei Julio was of course waiting for him to finish his drink so he could lecture him on exactly how he’d managed to best him this time. He always did that, of course he said it was only to help Jacob learn how better to defend himself, but Jacob had a suspicion that Sensei just enjoyed tormenting him with his failings.

“So, how did you do it this time Sensei?” Jacob couldn’t help but let a little bit of a smile onto his face. No matter how much it hurt to be bested he loved his martial arts class and loved learning how to fight. In some ways sparing off with Sensei was his method for letting out his emotions. He knew that he could safely expend everything he had and not worry about hurting Sensei Julio because, after all, he was Sensei. He had to smile at how often that lesson had proven true in his experience. He had never yet bested Sensei and seriously doubted that he ever would.

“Well, the truth be told Jacob, I was actually quite amazed at the maneuver you used their. Not often is a student able to pull that one off, but you almost had it.” Sensei smiled that goofy smile and continued his lecture, “of course as far as I know I was the last student to use the move and that was quite a long while ago.”

Now that was a shocking bit of news, Jacob had to ask, “What do you mean Sensei that you were the last student to use that move?

“Ah, well when I was about your age I was also a student of old Master Yachoma. At the time he had never been bested by a pupil and I am proud to say that I was the first to do so by that very move. Of course I then realized that if a student of mine ever used the move on me then I would need a counter to it and so I developed the one I just used on you. It’s quite difficult really but if you like I can teach it to you.” Sensei Julio said this last bit in a mischievous sort of way that he sometimes used when talking about the Lost Arts. Jacob had always assumed that the Lost Arts were a sort of private joke between all the Sensei’s but the look in Sensei Julio’s eyes said otherwise.

“Sensei Julio, I understand what you did but I have no idea how such a thing is possible. I realized right before your elbow landed that you had somehow jumped over me but it was so quick that I could barely understand it.” Jacob was being dead honest he didn’t understand how such a thing was possible at all and he felt that he should find out.

“Well yes Jacob I’m afraid that it’s quite a difficult thing to do, but no matter, we’ll start your training to become a Sensei tomorrow if you wish it.”

Jacob was stunned.

An offer to train a student to be a Sensei was not a thing offered lightly. In fact in all his time as a student which was about five years, he didn’t think he’d ever heard the offer given to another student. His stunned expression brought a light chuckle out of Sensei Julio and a pat on the shoulder.

“But Sensei,” he said, “I’ve never heard the offer made since I’ve been a student here. I don’t understand, why me? There are others who are better than me.”

“The primary difference is not in skill,” said Sensei Julio in a serious tone. “Skill is a thing learned where as character is a thing that can take a life time to learn. You have the character I’ve been looking for the last five years. Yes I have trained others and I will train more and many of them were like you when they first were trained. You do not have to answer immediately but I would like to know soon.”

“Sensei of course I wish to train to be a Sensei.” Jacob was flustered and still a little dizzy from the blow to his head, but he hadn’t been more certain of anything in his entire life.

“Do you realize what you did back there Jacob?”

“Umm… I’m not sure what you mean. I dodged under your leg to throw you to the floor,” said Jacob, more than a little perplexed by the question.

Sensei Julio looked him in the eye for quite a long time, it almost became uncomfortable. When Jacob thought he could take no more of this soul searching, Sensei Julio finally spoke in a soft voice. “Jacob, you were able to slow time.”

“Well no… that’s not possible to slow time, I simply reacted quickly is all.” Something in Jacob suddenly ignited at full force. An idea, simple but strong that had been in his heart and head since he was born sprung to life.

The idea that he was meant for so much more.

He knew that for so long he had been longing for more, groaning to be more, to have a bigger purpose, an important life, to be special. That idea, that longing had been inside him for as long as he remembered, and yet he’d always played it down, put it away so it wouldn’t hurt to much when he found out he was a nobody. But what Sensei was saying could mean that he wasn’t a nobody, that he had a purpose. That maybe he was in fact meant for more. Finally halting his spiraling thoughts he looked up at his Sensei’s face. Sensei was getting rather old he was almost in 60, a wiry old man with wavy grey hair in a pony tail down to his mid-back. His simple brown eyes spoke volumes about his authority on martial arts and his unadorned black Gi spoke to his humble approach to the subject of fighting. And now those eyes were watching him, weighing him, dissecting his very soul. Sensei was obviously deciding exactly what he was going to share with a pupil who wasn’t yet dedicated to training to be a Sensei himself.

At last he spoke, again softly with heavy meaning laced in the words, “Jacob, a thing is either possible or it is impossible, it cannot be both. You must decide which you believe before you accept or reject the offer of training. But you must decide before tomorrow. If it helps, I was once skeptical, the Lost Arts are considered to be myth and it is kept that way to keep those who would abuse the knowledge from learning it. As good at fighting as many become, there are only a few who ever bridge the gap between fighting and killing.”

Jacob was suddenly horrified at what he was hearing. He didn’t understand, this wasn’t about killing this was about defending one’s self.

As if reading his thoughts Sensei said, “To kill whether in reality or only in intention is to be committed entirely to protecting your life or another’s. A student must be ready to make that commitment if he is to learn the Lost Arts, and that is exactly why skill plays a relatively small roll in the choosing. The knowledge is guarded lest those who would kill willing be allowed onto the path of knowledge. I have said as much as I will. You may leave now and make your decision. Tomorrow you must tell me your choice.” Sensei Julio turned and walked back to the class to begin another lesson with the other students. Jacob though had been relieved of class even if not by words than by meaning. He understood well that his Sensei had dismissed him to go and make his choice before he returned but at the same time he could help but think what a silly notion… to slow time. That act seemed to refute all knowledge of the knowable world around him. A thing simply wasn’t possible, and yet, Sensei had clearly said that a thing was either possible or impossible but that it could not be both. He looked up at Sensei as he gathered his things and put his Gi away. Sensei was teaching the younger students but he was also watching and gauging Jacob. Jacob didn’t know how he knew such a thing but he did regardless. It seemed that his understanding of the impossible was about to change for good.

As he walked out of the Dojo thinking happy thoughts he turned the corner and headed out into the cold wind of a night in Colorado. He had lived up in the mountains for most of his life in a small house with his parents. He was 17 but he felt immensely older as he contemplated all that had occurred on this night. His thoughts suddenly took a turn to his parents and the things that awaited him at home. These were not happy thoughts.

The Walk toward Fate

Jacob’s mother had always loved him and done what she could for him but his father was not in any way like his son. Thinking about his father always gave him a certain palpable feeling of silent dread. The reason he had taken up martial arts in the first place was to protect himself from his father. As horrible as it sounded it was something he lived with every day of his life. He felt worse for his mother because in many ways she enabled his dad to be the way he was. She gave him money for the booze he bought, although it was mainly to keep him from hurting her. This night of all nights, his dread of his father slowly molded and shaped itself into a smoldering anger. He’d learned what he could to protect himself but this was the first time he ever felt like using what he’d learned to hurt someone. If anyone should be hurt it was definitely his father. But in many ways he knew that he wouldn’t hurt his father. He simply couldn’t bring himself to feel much more than pity for the poor son of a bitch. Only now he was feeling more, much more. It almost scared him how much anger he suddenly had while thinking about his father. His eyes narrowed as he considered what it was he wanted to do to his father.

As he walked slowly back to his own personal hell he noticed Betty on the usual bench in front of her apartment. He’d known Betty for as long as he’d been going to the Dojo, he felt sorry for her too because he knew that she had a rough life as young as she was, probably a life much like his own. She was a pretty girl, older than him by a year; she had short curly brown hair and dark green eyes. She had been out on this bench smoking a cigarette whenever he left the Dojo since she had met him when he first started.

Betty smiled that private smile of hers just for him it seemed and said, “your early, what are you doing out of class early.”

If there was anything Betty liked to do more than smoke a cigarette it was probably teasing Jacob. He’d become used to it over the years and found that the only way to counter such teasing was to flatter her.

“I thought you’d be a little less beautiful if I came earlier, apparently I was wrong,” he said with his most dashing smile.

“Bah,” she said, “you’re just trying to get out of sitting with me for a little while.”

She seemed to have that familiar twinkle in her green eyes that spoke volumes about how happy she was to see him.

“I’m afraid you’ve guessed it right, I tried but I suppose now I’ll have to sit with you for a bit anyways.”

“Yes I’m afraid you will, so why are you out of class early?”

Jacob always knew that he could be honest with Betty even if he couldn’t with anyone else. For some reason though he knew that he shouldn’t reveal anything about the Lost Arts. It was simply implied by the title, so instead he decided a small lie was in order.

“To be honest,” said Jacob, “Sensei knocked my head off my shoulders and I was so dizzy afterwards I could barely stand straight.”

“Oh no,” Betty said, “You’d better sit down quick then!” Her smile was touching both ears when she found a way to force him to spend time with her. They both knew that she didn’t have to force him but it was a fun game they played none the less. Jacob sat down on the bench and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. It was pretty chilly outside but for some, reason Betty never seemed to take heed of the weather, she was wearing an old pair of jeans and a blue sweatshirt Jacob had given last year sometime. She snuggled up under his arm eager to be close to his warm body.

They sat still for a while just enjoying each others presences before moving on to conversation as was their custom on such nights as this. She always enjoyed simply watching him from the corner of her eye. This night though she sped up their usual routine a little feigning concern for his “pretty head” as she put it.

“So,” she said.

“So,” he replied.

“Five years is a long time,” said Betty, “I think it’s about time we kissed.”

Jacob backed up a few inches at this sudden and unexpected attack. He heard himself ask, “What?”

She seemed a little put off by his response and apparently decided to go about it in a different way.

“Well what I’m saying is that we’ve known each other for five years, and I’ve really enjoyed knowing you Jacob…you know that.”

Jacob suddenly realized it was more of a question than a statement. He was already overwhelmed thinking about the Lost Arts and suddenly being asked in so many words if he loved Betty totally threw his mind into a state of near-panic with the implications. After all, he hadn’t really considered that far down the road he had always just assumed they were as good as friend’s came.

“Well Betty, of course I know that, and you know I really enjoy the time I spend with you as well. I just… well, to be honest I’m still a little dizzy.”

That seemed to satisfy her for the moment as she sat back a little and drank in his eyes. She always said that she liked his eyes the best. For what seemed an eternity she simply looked into his soul seeming to read there exactly what she wanted to. He wondered briefly if he was slowing time but simply tossed the notion away as absurd. He had to reexamine the question when Betty ever so slowly began moving her head towards his. He didn’t understand exactly what was happening except that it felt good and right. She put one hand on the back of his neck and put the other his cheek as she moved ever closer in the moonlight. He was suddenly vividly aware that he was also moving towards her and yet he had no idea why he would do such a thing.

And then he knew.

Although he had never smoked himself the taste of tobacco on her lips only heightened the exotic feel of her lips on his. He was suddenly holding her tightly to him as he moved his tongue over the foreign terrain of her lips. The chill air only heightened the sensation of feeling of being utterly alone with the girl he loved. He hadn’t known he loved her before but now he knew. He knew it with every fiber of his body and every ounce of his soul. He knew that this woman was inextricably intertwined with his life, and only wanted it to last forever.

But it didn’t.

He suddenly realized that she was pulling away and he didn’t know why. He opened his eyes and saw a pair of mean angry eyes staring back at him. Not understanding what was happening he was too late to dodge the fist that came at him. He was abruptly on the floor and someone was kicking him in the side. It hurt so much it felt like a knife being jammed into his side over and over again. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t shout, couldn’t do anything but lay as still as possible and try to cover his exposed flanks. He realized he heard voices then, there was a man yelling something about staying away from his daughter. Somewhere in the empty recesses of his mind he understood that it was her father, although he couldn’t understand why her father wouldn’t want him to kiss Betty. It seemed so cruel that when he had found such happiness it had been taken away so abruptly. It didn’t seem fair. He never wanted to hurt someone as much as he did right then. He wanted to lash out against all the forces that were forever pushing him away from happiness.

He realized that Betty was crying out and yelling for her father to stop it, but it didn’t seem to be helping, in fact it seemed to be making it worse. The more she yelled, the harder he kicked. Not being able to breathe was suddenly becoming overwhelming. The lack of breath left Jacob feeling utterly defenseless and hurting in places he hadn’t even been hit. And then he did something he’d only done once before.

Jacob slowed time.

He saw the boot coming down again and knew that if he stayed here this man would kill him. He didn’t know how he knew it but it was true. Whether it was one more kick or twelve this man wouldn’t stop until he killed him. He had a sudden urge to give into death to let it all slide away into nothingness, but as soon as the thought came into his mind he banished it. He had just gotten the two most amazing things in the world and felt like the luckiest man alive. He wasn’t about to let that go. He turned towards the boot and blocked it with his crossed wrists, using the momentum to spin his body. Once he’d spun out so that he was lying in Betty’s father’s shadow he sent his feet out and locked them around her father’s feet. He tugged violently and used the force to pull himself up off the pavement. Coincidently, as he pulled himself up Betty’s father fell backwards and smacked the ground with a sickening thud. Most men wouldn’t have fallen, it was instantly obvious that he had been drinking and wasn’t able to maintain his balance. He seemed to be unconscious but Jacob didn’t want to risk it. The world flew back into motion as Betty paused in her desperate yelling to stare wide-eyed at Jacob. He understood that she didn’t know how to react because while she didn’t want her father hurting Jacob, she also didn’t want her father hurt. As much as he must have hurt her in her whole life she had a good heart. That was why Jacob liked her so much.

“Betty, call 911, quick.”

He bent over her father and saw that he was breathing and seemed to be unconscious for the moment. Looking up, he saw that Betty was still staring wide-eyed at him, not comprehending what he had done.

He repeated the order, “Betty your dad’s alright for the most part but you’ve gotta call 911. I can’t say anymore then that he’s breathing.”

Seeming to finally understand what had happened she turned and ran inside to do as he’d asked. Jacob on the other hand didn’t know what to think. He realized that he could barely stand so he sat back down on the bench as he waited for the ambulance. He felt the sharp pain in his chest and side and knew what that meant. He had broken ribs and maybe more. That wasn’t good news. That meant that he’d have to wait for them to mend to start training to be a Sensei. The other bad news for the night was that Jacob didn’t know how Betty would feel about him dropping her father in such a way. He hoped the man was alright, he hadn’t wanted to hurt him but he knew that there wasn’t really another option. He suddenly realized though that part of him had wanted to hurt the man that made Betty’s life so hard. All he knew for sure right then was that he needed medical attention the rest of it would have to wait. As he waited quietly for Betty to come back out, he looked out on the street that led home. He knew he wasn’t going to be going home tonight and didn’t want to think about the repercussions if his dad found out what all had happened.

In that case, Jacob thought to himself, better not to think about anything for the time being. Having decided that, he waited a few minutes till Betty came back out. She threw a blanked over her dad and then sat down next to Jacob again and put her arms around him. It was such a relief to know that she didn’t intend to stop being his friend just because he’d hurt her dad. He returned the hug before backing up and asking, “any chance I can have a cigarette?”

She lit one for him and gave him one while she puffed on another. It felt good in a way. Jacob hadn’t smoked any cigarettes before but it kind of relieved his stress and made him light-headed. He smiled at Betty then and she smiled back.

“Betty, I’m sorry I hurt your dad, I didn’t mean to.”

“I know. I’m kind of glad you did though. He’s hurt me before. Sometimes I hate him.”

“My dad’s the same way, I’m sorry though.”

She shushed him with a finger and then hugged him again. As the ambulance came around the corner headed towards them the lights seemed to get dimmer and dimmer as they came. It didn’t make any sense.

But then, the world went black.

A Painful Ending

Betty was worried sick. She sat next to the bed that held the one man who had never hurt her and had always been a friend before anything else. The doctors said that he might not make it, and for Betty, thinking about a world without Jacob was not only exceedingly painful, but also not at all possible in her mind. How could there ever be a God that would take away the only person who had been good to her? In a way she understood that she was being somewhat selfish and maybe not reasoning everything through correctly, but that didn’t change how much it hurt.

She looked up from her lap again to see Jacob stirring a little in his sleep. Jacob was incredibly hansom in her opinion. He was six-foot-two with shoulder length black hair that he usually kept in a pony-tail much like his Sensei. He had a strong build from all the training he had done but was thin at the waist and sometimes amazed her with how agile he could be. The most amazing thing besides Jacob’s personality though was his eyes. He had the most startling bright blue eyes she had ever seen. There was so much life and love in those eyes that sometimes she didn’t know why he had ever stopped to spend time with her in the first place. It wasn’t that she felt like he shouldn’t have anything to do with her because of how amazing he was, but it was more that she felt so unaccountably lucky that she had ever gotten the chance to know him in the first place.

And now she might lose that privilege.

The thought was more than she could bear at that moment and she began crying for what seemed like the tenth time in the last several hours. It just wasn’t fair. Jacob’s parents had come to the hospital and the doctors had told them that the surgery Jacob needed wouldn’t be covered by their insurance. Jacob’s father hadn’t seemed to care all that much but Betty guessed that the smell of booze on his breath was his way of dealing with the situation. Although it had always seemed like Jacob’s father was a bad man Betty knew that somewhere deep inside his cold heart he still had a soft spot for his son. Jacob’s mother had wept with Betty for a long time beside his bed until her husband took her away saying that there was nothing to be done and best to get on with life as Jacob would want. He acted as if Jacob were already dead and there was nothing that could be done.

Betty couldn’t believe it would happen though, as many times as she repeated the words in her mind, they never seemed to make sense. A world without Jacob was a cold place and she didn’t want to be the one to stay behind.

Betty did something then that she hadn’t done for years and years since she was still a child, she prayed. She prayed to whatever God there might be to please keep Jacob alive, to keep him from passing on. She said she couldn’t live in a world without Jacob and that if he was gone she would be just as dead even if she were still in her body. She prayed every prayer she could think of and kept on praying the same words she had already said. She put every ounce of her inner strength into praying that Jacob would be spared that he would wake and all would be well. She prayed until she felt a hand smoothing her hair back. At first she didn’t realize what it was she was feeling, she wondered if maybe God was consoling her for her loss, but then she realized it wasn’t a feeling it was an actual hand. Surprised she looked up at Jacob and saw his bright blue eyes silently watching her vigil. When Betty looked up Jacob smiled and his smile penetrated the very core of her soul with it’s warmth.

“Thank you for praying for me,” said Jacob.

Betty threw her arms around him as she cried once more, trying to hold back the death that was supposed to come. She realized then that she might be hurting him so she loosened her grip and looked up at his peaceful features.

“I was so worried you wouldn’t wake up again Jacob.”

“I know Betty, that’s why I’m here.”

“Wait, what do you mean that’s why you’re here?”

He simply gazed into her eyes for what seemed an eternity without speaking, drinking in her features and eyes as she had often done to him.

“God heard your prayers and asked me to return to tell you that all was well. He wanted me to tell you that I’ll be in a better place, and I wanted to tell you that I love you.”

No matter how many times Betty cried she was always surprised that she had more tears. This time though, she was crying for joy at being able to look into those bright blue eyes again. But the thought of what she was hearing slowly registered and took hold of her.

“Why can’t you stay here with me? Why do you have to die?”

Jacob seemed to be glowing with an inner radiance as he cupped her face in one hand and smiled.

“Because it’s my time Betty, be thankful that I could come back to spend a few minutes with you before I go on to the next life.”

She was thankful, but at the same time a profound loneliness swept over her when the thought of a world without Jacob came crashing back into her mind.

“I’m so scared Jacob, I don’t want to be alive without you. There’s no one else like you, no one that I care about like you. I love you Jacob, I don’t know what I’ll do without you.”

“I guess I got out of spending time with you after all didn’t I?” He chuckled softly at his own joke.

Betty couldn’t help but smile at the sentiment, she knew he didn’t ever want to get out of spending time with her and although she was sad that she would be alone for a while she knew that she would see him again one day.

“I love you Jacob,” she said as she leaned in and kissed him for the second time in her life. The kiss seemed to last just as long as the first one. His warm arms around her felt like heaven as she held him tightly.

“I have to go now Betty, go talk to Sensei Julio, tell him I said thank you. Be strong Betty.”

Betty watched Jacob silently with tears in her eyes as he slowly slipped from life to death. After a long time of sitting and watching Jacob’s body she finally stood up and walked slowly out of the room. Next to the door there was a police officer who apparently had been waiting for her. He seemed reluctant to say anything lest she break into weeping again, but she didn’t.

“Can I help you officer?”

“Well yes ma’am as a matter of fact I just came by to hear how it went. I was told that when you called you had said that there was a fight, is that correct?”

“Yes my dad beat Jacob to death for kissing me.”

The officer seemed taken aback by the story and by the frank way in which it was told. He didn’t exactly know how to respond it seemed so he waited until she continued.

“Are you going to put my father in jail?”

“Well, um, I’m not exactly sure, there will be a trial and if he’s convicted then he will go to jail. In the mean time we’ll have to take him in so that he’s at hand for the trial.” The officer seemed reluctant to say more still unsure about how Betty felt about the matter.

“Good, I’m heading home soon, after I stop to see a friend of Jacob’s. I’d appreciate it if my dad’s in jail before I get home. I don’t want to see him, much less talk to him right now.”

Finally realizing how Betty felt about the matter the officer seemed to relax.

“Of course ma’am, I’m Officer Bradley,” he said as he pulled out a card to give to her. “If you need anything at all just give me a call at that number and I’ll do what I can to help. Can I give you a ride?”

“Thank you officer but I’d rather walk.”

He seemed to understand the sentiment and thankfully said no more before walking away with a nod of his head. As Betty walked out of the hospital she thought about all the times she’d sat and talked with Jacob about everything and nothing and how wonderful those times were. It seemed that in no time she was already at the Dojo. She was always impressed with the location of the Dojo, the area of town that she lived in was almost a shanty but the Dojo stood out brightly like the first fresh snow of winter against the green-brown grasses in Colorado. She walked inside feeling the emotion of the last several days tugging at the lump in her throat. She sat in one of the several chairs lined up across the wall near the door way and waited for Sensei Julio to notice her. He seemed to be teaching only a handful of students and she guessed that it was one of the advanced classes by the colors of their belts.

Finally the Sensei seemed to notice an on-looker’s presence and asked one of the black-belt students to take over class for a few moments. Betty had never met Sensei Julio but he seemed like a great man and she understood immediately why Jacob would feel such a connection with him. He seemed to have that same life in his brown eyes that Jacob did in his. However, as Sensei Julio slowly walked over to her seeming to be very wary of what message she could bring she saw fear and worry take over his features. Somehow he knew.

He finally slowed to a stop before Betty waiting for her to spell out the doom that she had come to address.

“I’m Betty, I’m a friend of Jacob’s,” she said with only a bit of a waver in her voice.

“I know child, Jacob has told me of you. What happened,” he asked his voice seemingly unable to hold back the pain in his soul.

“Jacob died a little while ago Sensei. He asked me to come and tell you that he said ‘thank you.’ I’m sure he would have asked me to come and get you to see him if he had had more time but he was only conscious for a few minutes. I’m sorry,” she began saying before she couldn’t hold back the sobs of anger and sadness that seemed to take over her voice without her permission. Sensei Julio stood silently for a few minutes, the grief clearly marked on his face, watching a young girl who had a broken heart. He finally sat down next to her and put a warm arm around her shoulder and held her to him as she wept. Tears streamed from his eyes as well and he finally looked at the plethora of students watching the spectacle and let out his inward storm of emotions in an angry voice, “Class dismissed!”

At some point much later in the evening once Betty had quieted down, Sensei asked her how it had happened, and she told the whole story. She expected him to be angry at her for kissing Jacob but he wasn’t. Instead he took in the news in a stoic manner and finally turned a kind smile on her.

“It’s alright child, you’ll see, everything will be alright. Also, I know that your house is probably safe with you father in jail but I’d like you to stay here for the night, there’s a soft bed in my office where I sometimes stay on late nights if you’d like.”

Betty finally agreed after being assured that it was no problem at all, and fell into a deep and peaceful sleep in which she dreamed of Jacob holding her in his arms again.

A Rough Awakening

Jacob felt stranger then he’d ever felt before, he couldn’t seem to make sense of where he was or what had happened. He stretched his mental capacities as far as they would go trying to get a grasp on what had happened before this gray place. His mental capacities, in the state they were, didn’t stretch very far at all. It felt something like being drugged before a dental surgery. He had a faint awareness that he was alive and there was activity around him but time felt like it had no meaning. Jacob stayed in this strange oblivion for what seemed only a few moments but at the same time felt like years and years of waiting. The other thing that threw him off was that he had a strong perception that he was waiting for something. What that something was he hadn’t the foggiest, but it seemed to be incredibly important…important enough to wait for an eternity of incredibly short moments. He seemed to be residing somewhere in the recesses of his consciousness or lack there of. He had thoughts but they either weren’t substantial enough to be sustained in his fragile mental state or perhaps he was simply beyond the realm of practical thoughts, it really didn’t seem to matter, after all he was waiting for who-knew-what for who knew how long and for who knew what purpose? Apparently he did have a vague sense of humor left intact by the gray.

Intact? For something to be intact it would probably have to have a form and I don’t seem to have one at the moment.

That thought, as insightful as it could have potentially been, vanished like all the rest however and poor Jacob sank back into silent waiting in the gray. Eventually, even though he couldn’t tell how long eventually was, he saw a light.

Light… what’s light?

Comprehension seemed to slowly creep into his mind like some type of vine creeping through all the worn out crevices.

Betty…

Suddenly his life crashed into him and he became fully conscious, realizing that he had died and that now he was amazingly alive. In fact Jacob felt more alive, if that was possible, perhaps it was simply that his absence from life had increased his perception of what it felt like upon his return, but it felt different. Each breath he took seemed to totally and fully invigorate him to his core leaving him breathless with excitement and longing on each exhalation. If this was what it had always felt like then he must have been two-dimensional not to notice. Jacob’s eyes watered and scrunched up tight at the overwhelming sensation of life, and he suddenly couldn’t contain the joyous laughter that bubbled out of his throat in a rich beautiful sound that he hardly recognized as his own laugh. Suddenly feeling a need to understand why this experience was so exasperating he popped his eyes open and found that there was a mild green ceiling above him. Even the ugly color of the ceiling and walls didn’t dim his feeling of invigoration. In fact the “ugly color” looked mildly pleasing through this new lens. As he investigated the room further he realized that this was the hospital room that he had died in.

Died in… I’m dead. But I’m even more alive? How does that work?

His thoughts continued to reel around all the “what if’s” and possibilities until a quiet voice intruded on his experience. It said, “Do you want to keep thinking about it Jacob, or would rather I start giving you answers?”

The voice was incredibly smooth and hauntingly melodic. He turned to find where the voice had been issued from and found two men sitting on the window side of his bed in a couple of hospital “all-nighter” chairs. One of the men seemed to be rather bored; he was dressed in a crisply pressed pin-striped suit and had neatly trimmed white hair with a small pointed goatee and was smoking a fat cigar. He seemed to notice Jacob’s surprise at seeing a man smoking a cigar in a hospital, but the only response he offered was, “Cuban.” He practically grunted the word out and seemed to be eager to move on to other things besides sitting next to a freshly dead soul.

The other man was an altogether different matter. He looked almost offensively dressed, with tight jeans and a leather jacket over a shirt that read “I’m with stupid” and had an arrow pointing at the man in the suit. Jacob instantly liked him, he seemed to be radiating with inner joy and there was a serene smile pasted on his face as if it never left the spot. The opposite of the pin-striped man in almost every regard, the younger looking man had dark-to-black hair all the way past his shoulders and facial hair that looked to never be shaved, much less trimmed. Jacob really hoped that the voice he had heard belonged to this man, the sound didn’t seem to fit the appearance, but it did fit the serene countenance.

“Answers?” Jacob asked, totally surprised by the richness of his voice when he felt that it should be dry and cracked. His surprise showed clearly on his face and the stranger in leather chuckled while the pin-striped man simply grunted in boredom once again.

“Yes answers,” said the man in leather. “For starters, you are Jacob Kaldin, I am Spirit.”

Jacob didn’t totally understand whether the stranger was giving a name or was giving a description of himself, but he decided that either way he didn’t really have a choice but to call him…it… Spirit.

The man continued speaking once Jacob had decided how to interpret the introduction. “And this is Lucifer, otherwise known as Satan, the Devil, King of Lies, and other fun and discriminatory titles.” Apparently, Spirit had a bit more of the humorous nature then Jacob did. At the same time, although Jacob wasn’t surprised that the pin-striped man was the devil, he was a bit surprised that Spirit would be sitting next to him as if they were old friends.

“Old enemies would probably be a more adequate description of the relationship I think,” said Spirit.

Apparently mind reading is a common practice here.

“Yes as a matter of fact it is,” said Spirit. He seemed to be enjoying himself immensely in conversing, and although Jacob was a little put off by his straight forward mannerisms and almost offensive personality, he found that he was also enjoying the conversation quite a bit...even if it was only because he had come out of the gray.

“If you two are old enemies why don’t you just kill him and have done with it?” Jacob asked. Spirit seemed to enjoy that remark to the extreme, but Lucifer who sat up straighter didn’t seem to share the sentiment at all, in fact, he looked down right hostile.

“I’m right here you know!” Lucifer said harshly, settling himself back into his seat with an air of snubbed dignity.

“Is he always this fun?” Jacob asked while attempting to hold back chuckles. However, as Jacob looked at Spirit he realized that Spirit wasn’t laughing in the least, in fact he seemed to grow very cold suddenly and said in a very serious tone, “You’d best let me handle the snide remarks from here on out when concerning Lucifer.”

Too shocked by the sudden change in demeanor Jacob simply nodded a little dumbly, at this Lucifer seemed to be pleased at last. Apparently Jacob had a lot to learn in this place.

Place? Where exactly am I anyways.

I rather liked your terminology when calling the in-between, the gray. But in reality this place where we are now is more adequately coined The Gray.

You can hear me and talk to me in my mind Spirit?

Oh yes, Spirit thought at Jacob as a smile spread across his face. It’s quite revealing actually and really the best way to communicate. You’ll find in time that you rather like it although some who come here do attempt to maintain adequacy in vocalization. I can’t say I blame them; sometimes the life of a person can be so impacting on a soul that they never completely let it go. But in answer to your question, The Gray is the place where spirits and souls reside on earth but without interacting with the world as humans see it.

Jacob thought briefly about whether he would reply in words or thoughts and finally decided that since he didn’t understand how to read thoughts yet it would be easier to simply converse in the usual manner. “So,” Jacob said, “What can I do for you, seeing as how I’m incapacitated?”

Spirit seemed suddenly brighten up again and laughed in a bid of a mischievous sort of way. The brightness in Spirit’s eyes reminded Jacob of the look that often stole into Betty’s eyes when she was teasing him. The thought of Betty brought on a slight pang of longing but he otherwise ignored the sensation as he assumed that what Spirit had to say would be more important for the time being.

“You’re not at all incapacitated, in fact if you’d like you can get up and jump around to prove it to yourself. In truth you’ll probably feel about 8 years younger and realize that your natural abilities have in fact been quite amplified by “dying” as you humans put it.”

Although Jacob had a sudden urge to do just as Spirit had suggested and jump around the hospital room. He managed to simply stretch and feel out his new body… if you could call it a body.

“I assure you,” said Spirit seeming once again to be reading Jacob’s mind, “That it is indeed a body. Humanity I’m afraid has forgotten a great many things about where they came from. In fact the very first human, Adam, felt quite the same when he began as you did just now when you awakened to The Gray. Before mine old enemy here uncovered and attacked the weakness inherent in men, Adam was quite the jumper.” Spirit seemed to be utterly taken by joy as another expansive warm smile took over his face. “He used to jump over anything that could be found and would be a challenge to jump, nearly killed himself a time or two before Father told him he wouldn’t save his sorry hide the next time he got himself in a jam.”

Jacob’s look of utter shock that this God character would use such terminology toward the first man seemed to have the desired effect on Spirit, and his smile widened once more to take command of the man’s apparently cowed face. “Of course I simply paraphrase this God characters words as you put it. If the truth be told, I’m actually the lighter side of Father.

Spirit seemed to be stressing the word Father so Jacob guessed that that is what God was called in The Gray.

Actually, Spirit corrected, that is what “God” is called everywhere but in troublesome human minds. Troublesome being a good-natured description of course, I love the creatures as much as Father or The Holy One.

And by creatures of course, you mean me and mine? Jacob thought at Spirit with a bit of indignation.

Jacob’s indignation seemed to shock Spirit a little as he must not have been expecting that sort of direct confrontation. He regained his serene features rather quickly enough of course, but Jacob was silently relieved that a Spirit could still be shocked.

Well Jacob, Spirit said in a rather lecturing voice, I’m afraid you are no longer human, you are now and forever more a spirit once again, unless of course Father believes that you desire to learn more in the mortal realm and gives you yet another mission, yet that is highly improbable because you have had 3 hence, and no one has ever had more.

Once again, Jacob thought to himself, or at least had intended to think to himself, what in the world is that supposed to mean? And 3 missions…what the hell is going on here?

That is an answer I can in fact supply, but it will take time to understand the full reality of what it is you have gone through and to fully regain your remembrances from the times before as well as from when you were created. You see Jacob, but Spirit seemed to change his mind and shifted back into vocalizing his thoughts. Thinking at people seemed to become easy to do and hard to get out of doing, or at least, to Jacob, Spirit seemed to have trouble making the shift naturally.

“You see Jacob,” said Spirit starting once again with a bit of a smile on his face to make sure Jacob knew that his thoughts didn’t go unnoticed or unappreciated, “Each soul that dwells in a human being was created by Father before that soul ever entered into a human being in the first place. In fact the majority of human souls as you understand them to be in your world have been living for (at the least) a thousand years.”

Jacob felt his head getting heavier and felt dizzy at the sudden realization that this was a true statement, somehow he had always known that, but never realized it. Spirit went on.

“Because of the union that all in the real world share, Father always knows when one of the souls he has created is prepared for a journey of learning. He offers each of them many opportunities to take on the life of a human because it is essential if they are to come to love Him as they do when they are created through their own will. Some of the humans have come to call these untainted souls “Angels” although in reality, he who takes on the life of a human and returns with belief in the One True is actually better off in many ways than one who has not. It takes quite a bit of courage in a soul for it to accept taking up the life of a human, and those who do not, although considered angels by some, actually serve Father solely in the real world, but do so out of their created mandate rather than by free will as Father truly wishes all to do.”

Six Dims - Chapter 1 (continued)

Jace was still in deep thought when a soft voice intruded on his private meditations, "You can get up now Jace, the King has left the room." Jace looked up at the figure before him slowly taking in the countenance, and finally realized who the question had issued from. He had almost completely forgotten where he was with the dramatic shift in the King's attitude.

"Oh yes, thank you sir."
"Don't worry about it Jace we will talk of all these things that have occured once we reach the place of training. Go and pack your things and say goodbye to those you care for because you won't see them again for some time."
"Of course sir... erm sir?"
"Yes Jace?"
"What is your name?"
"Ah forgive my presumption Jace. My name is Weapons Master Zinrok."
"Your..." Jace's mind was suddenly reeling. Weapons Master Zinrok? If this man truly was Weapons Master Zinrok he'd be nearly 2000 years old!
"Yes I am. We are to leave here in exactly 2 hours Jace. Do be ready please."
Weapons Master Zinrok turned towards the door and walked confidently through it. Jace was completely shocked, he had figured that at the very most a minor member of the dwanian order had come to train him but Weapon Master Zinrok himself? Who could ever have imagined such a thing? Jace got up quickly and headed out the door and to his room to pack his things. However, as he arrived at his room and walked through the door, he looked around and realized that there wasn't really anything to take with him. Nothing in this room was truly his he realized, except for a small lime green rock on his dresser that had been given to him by Ryla. He picked up the rock and dropped it in his pocket and left the room the same way it was when he entered. He thought of Ryla as he left his room and decided he would like to say goodbye to her and so, set off towards her quarters and after several spirals of upwards stairs arrived at the royal level of the palace where the true royalty resided.

Jace had never questioned his own birth but had simply assumed from a young age that he was a bastard child and was quite happy to be included in the family at all regardless of where he slept and ate. Ryla had always been quite angry with her father though for keeping him in the servants quarters. She was constantly trying to get her father to change his mind but the King would simplly smile and nod and then not do anything about it. Whatever the truth may be Jace knew that he would probably never find out and so, excepted his lot in life.

He reached Ryla's outer door and knocked twice. After waiting for a few moments he tried again and after waiting for several moments after that he checked to see if it was locked. It wasn't so he walked in and announced himself. Again no one answered so he walked all the way through Ryla's rooms to make sure that she wasn't there. When he finally arrived at her bedroom he saw her lying on her bed looking at a picture and smiling with tears in her eyes.

"Ryla, why didn't you answer?"
"No reason Jace, come and sit down by me."
Jace moved over to her side and sat down. He saw that the picture she held was a picture of the two of them when they were 5, sitting side by side and holding hands in the nursery.
Ryla turned to look at Jace and the tears began to flow down her cheeks uncontrollably. "Jace," she said, "please come back to me." She hugged him fiercely and he returned her hug with a tear of his own rolling down. "Of course I will Ryla, don't worry I'll be back as soon as I can. Be happy for me."
"Oh I am Jace. I really am."
"Alright then. I'd better be off now but I'm sure I'll be back soon enough. Maybe I'll be able to write you sometime." Jace smiled at her encouragingly but he already knew that he wouldn't be back too soon and most likely wouldn't be able to write. He loved his sister dearly though and new that it was best to be encouraging.
"Alright Jace... you take care."
Jace kissed her on the cheek and then walked quickly out of the room. He still had more than an hour before they were supposed to leave but he always felt a little akward saying goodbye.

Jace moved through the blackstone palace for the last time before his trip and took it all in. He felt the familiar warmth of the stone to his bare feet as he walked through the training rooms. He walked out on to the huge patio outside of the servants quarters and felt the stingingly cold winter's breeze. He looked out on the changeing of the light to dark and internally let all these wonderful things go. He walked in from that patio a new man a man ready for a new life and stepped walked into the hanger with a purpose. He intended to become more than he ever had been.

Weapons Master Zinrok met him at the door of the hanger and walked with him to the ship he had prepared. He stopped before the ship though and turned to Jace to ask him, "Are you ready Jace?"
Without looking back at the palace Jace nodded and walked into the ship.

The Hole

There's a hole inside each of us that we tend to fill with anything and everything but what it was initially for. That hole is the place where the supreme being of the universe once dwelled in each of us and now if we take the time to consider it it makes even the strongest of men feel lonely and dead. We tend to fill this hole with certain things that we like, for me video games or TV or reading or relationships. In and of themselves these things are rather good. It's good to sit down after a long day at work and watch the tube. However by using these things to escape from the feelings that accompany the hole we make them gods in our lives. I believe I've come to a place where I've cleaned out this place in me of all the junk that I put in it over the years... and I feel dead, lonely. But I see this as a good thing because now that I know that there's nothing in the hole I can look to the supreme being to fill it with him... his love and kindness. I can finally come to a place of relationship that will fill me with goodness and life.

My question to you is how do we get to a place of reality and acceptance of how empty we are, and what's the next step after?

Six Dims - Chapter 1

And so we begin. As I said before, I am setting out to tell the story of Jace. Most of what I will write is based on what he has told me himself, as well as my own personal experiences and those of his closest friends.

"The mission is complete my King."
"Is it? Excellent... and none of them survived?"
"No my King."
"Very good."

Jace kneeled in a large chamber, that which the King used for audiences. It was like most of the palace in appearance, made primarily out of black marble stone, with mainly silver and platinum gilding and decor. The King sat pensively on his emerald throne and looked thoughtfully at Jace's countenance. The King was a rather large man, tall and regal. Even after all these years he had a fierceness in his deep green eyes which showed the nature of a hunter. Still robust even in his old age, he was dreaded by his enemies and much loved by his friends.

"All is well then Jace?"
"Well, yes my Lord. I just... I wonder if you would be pleased to tell me who those men were that I might put my conscience to rest. I feel no honor in having killed these men."
"Ah I see then what is troubling you my son. You may indeed put your conscience to rest. These men were trouble mongers, attempting to usurp my power. A rather small force, but none the less, a threat that I didn't intend to allow."
"I see my Lord, and I am at rest knowing that I have taken care of a threat to my King."
"And you have my thanks Jace, you may leave now."

Jace stood up and moved quietly away from the King. He was still not completely at ease, he knew that although the men he had killed had indeed been rather crude, that did not necessarily mean that they were up to no good. Most soldiers were fairly crude. However, the King was his father and Jace had every intention of following his orders, even when they didn't make complete sense to him. After all the King was the King for a reason. Jace was sure he knew quite well how to deal with such matters. Putting these thoughts aside, Jace decided to head to the kitchen for a hot meal. He hadn't had much to eat on his journey and what he did eat wasn't cooked. After taking several turns down several corridors, Jace finally reached his destination, but as soon as he reached the kitchen door a young woman, looking much like her father popped out and raced towards Jace. Her father of course was none other than Jace's own father the King. She had the same wavy blond hair (although hers was rather longer) and those same piercing green eyes.

"Jace!"
"Ryla!" Jace announced happily. Ryla had always been Jace's best friend and the same was true for her. They usually spent almost all of there time together when they could, talking about anything from Ryla's classes to Jace's training, or as late missions.
"How was it Jace?" Ryla asked, a bit worried about Jace's uneasiness.
"Oh it was fine Ryla, everything went as planned, and it turns out I've rid the King our father of a group of usurpers." Rlya's face suddenly turned dark.
"What is it Ryla?"
"Well it's nothing... it's just that I overheard father talking to the general of the EE (Emperor's Elite) and he said something about a group of men."
"Well I'm sure it's nothing," said Jace, becoming a little more worried himself.
"Well that's just it, they talked about the group as if they were usurpers, but they seemed to be laughing about it as if that wasn't at all the truth. I'm not sure what it means, but I'm sure it's nothing. After all Jace, he is our father, he wouldn't lie to you about something like that." Ryla tried to smile, but it was obvious she didn't completely believe what she was saying and she knew that she had just increased Jace's worry by ten fold.

"Anyways," said Ryla trying to shrug off the uneasiness, "what are you up to J?"
"Oh not much," Jace replied trying to do the same as his sister and shrug off the uneasiness. "I was just about to get some food that's all."
"Oh, I'll join you."
"Only if you must, I know that princesses like yourself are most likely supposed to be studying right?" Jace was smiling at Ryla as her smile turned into a frown. Ryla hated studying more than just about anything else, and she almost always wished that she would be able to train in the EE or even privately. She rather preferred adventure to all the niceties of life in the palace.
"Argh, leave it to you to remind me of all the work I have to do." Ryla punched Jace in the shoulder, turned, and walked away with only a bit of a smirk on her mouth. Jace smiled at her back chuckling inside and walked toward the kitchen to finally get some hot food. Sadly he never reached the door. Another man that Jace recognized as the councilor of the King stepped out of the kitchen right in front of him.

"Hello Jace, I'm affraid you'll have to come with me."
"Oh, ok...well can I at least get some food first? I haven't eaten well for quite some time."
The man's face began turning a dark red. If Jace handn't known better he would have said the the man was full of rage for some unknown reason, but after all the man looked completely calm on the exterior.
"Is something the matter sir?"
"Not at all," he gasped out. "I'm affraid that won't be possible, the King desires to see you immediately."
Jace, looking a bit confused, replied that the King had just had an audience with him not five minutes previous.
"Yes, well he wants to see you again, immediately," the man sputtered out. Seemingly still full of rage for some unknown reason. "It is not your concern to understand the ways of the king, your job is to obey without question!"

Jace was rather surprised at the man, he had never known him to have a short temper, but he decided it would be best to go along with whatever he wanted. After all, he was the King's councilor.

"Very well, sir, lead the way."
The man turned sharply on his heal and headed off towards the Kings private chambers. After a few twists and turns, they came abruptly to a halt at the kings audience chamber. The councilor turned around and glared at Jace one final time before heading back to wherever such men headed to.

Jace didn't have any clue what could've bothered a man that much, but it had seemed awefuly like a child's tantrum when a child didn't get what it wanted most at the time. Wondering how that could relate to himself, Jace announced himself with a loud tap on the door and soon heard his father beconing him in. It seemed that the reason that Jace was called back had something to do with the small man standing near to the King's side. He was rather skinny, but also seemed very athletic. He had a vibrance about him that Jace could only remember seeing once before, and that was when he was tested for the Dwanian order. Of course Jace had failed the test, very few children were ever actually inducted into the Dwanian order after all, something like one in one-thousand. Whatever the case, the man was smallish, around five-feet-eight, wearing a robe of the order, with gray hair and beard down to his waist, and a set of startlingly peaceful gray eyes.

"Hello again Jace."
"Hail, King."
"Our friend the Dwanian desires to train you."
"What?" Jace asked, not understanding how he could be trained if he didn't have the gift."
"I said, the Dwanian wants to train you."
"I'm sorry my King, but I do not understand how I could be trained when I was clearly tested and was not inducted."
The King seemed somewhat pleased at this. Apparently he didn't want Jace to be trained by the Dwanian's either. Jace however, was internally enthralled. What if he coud be trained to be Dwanian? That had amazing potential, that would increase his warrior's abilities and perceptions 100 fold, and if he could kill 100 men as he was then he could kill a thousand when trained if need be. He didn't truly want to kill any man, but the possiblities of the power he could have dawned on him for a glorious two seconds. Once again, he set his mind to the situation at hand. His father had been staring at him it seemed, trying to understand what Jace was thinking.

Clearly not wanting to upset his father, Jace said, "As the King desires, so do I." This statement of truth however seemed to have no affect on the King. He sat still, as perturbed as before. Then suddenly he looked over at the Dwanian, who sat quietly at his side.

"The boy says so himself, you tested him before and he wasn't inducted... why do you want him now?"

The question surprised Jace, he had never seen the King seem so set against something, and yet not able to do anything about it. Or so it seemed to Jace.

"My fellow Dwanians sometimes lack vision, they cannot always know when one has the ability to become Dwanian. Many dismiss a child as soon as it is tested negative, but what they do not realize, is that some may find their own way, and yet others are simply slow going. Ultimately, I am not interested in the ammount of power a child or young adult has, but rather their willingness to learn with an open mind."
"I see..." the King seemed to be thinking desperately, trying to find a way out of the situation. "He is of great value to me however," said the King, apparently deciding that honesty was the best course to take with a Dwanian.
"Yes, I can see that is true King, but not only does the boy have the only say in this, but his value would also be multiplied many times by his training with the Order."
"Well yes, of course that's true... very well then. Boy, make up your mind."
Jace was so shocked that he didn't even think about his response before he said it. He almost lept up and danced around just thinking about training with the Dwanian Order.
"Yes!" he said, only realizing the negative affect this had on his father's countenance. "Well, I mean...if it's ok with you father," he said, and looked back to the floor.
"It is not for me to decide!" cried the King almost in a rage. Get your things packed and get out!"

Jace's face darkened immediately. He couldn't understand why his father was so angry, the King almost never got angry, and especially not with his own family. He was always loving, even when rebuking Jace or Ryla. In fact, he was so surprised he looked directly into the King's eyes even though that was not allowed in the audience chamber. The King turned away immediately and stormed out of the back entrance, but Jace had seen something that he had never seen in his father's eyes before, and never thought he would. He had seen murderous hate.

Preface to The Six Dims

While reading this story it's quite important that one understands the "world" in which it is set. I am setting out to tell the story of a particular young man named Jace. I feel that it will be best for all those who read this to know that firstly, this is the true story of Jace Kantonite, the likes of whom I've never known before, nor will I ever meet another person as divinely talented. Secondly, as I am also a member of the Dwanian Order, I will tell you the history of The Six Dims (Dimensions), in hopes that it will help you to understand this story better than you would if you had no idea what Jace's "world" is like.

The Six Dims are surely God's earliest experiment with intelligent and moral beings. Rather than creating planets as He did much later with Earth and her universe, God simply placed Islands in the middle of the Nothingness which existed before. Islands are much like the planets which exsist in your solar system, except they are not spherical. There is no sun which rises, or moon, or stars, which you most likely know all about in your world. In fact, the reason that all of the inhabitants of the Six Dims believe so strongly in The One God, is that there is no explanation for a variety of things. For instance, when day comes, the Islands become light, and when night comes, the same is true for the dark. Absolutely no explanation, rhyme, or reason to it.

In the very beginning of our knowledge, there was only one Island, in only one of the Dims. There were five species originally, the Humans, the Dwarves, the Elves, the Dragons, and the Quesinda. From the earliest histories, it is said that these five races banded together, though they didn't exactly feel completely comfortable with each other, none the less they knew that their only hope lie in cooperation. To govern over the five races, there were selected from among each race four leaders, two male and two female, and these leaders became an elite order which upheld the law. They were called the Dwanians. For two thousand years the Five Races banded together, cooperating in all their efforts, and because of this collaboration, were able to develop highly advanced technology.

The second Island was created at this point, and the second Dim was used for the first time. The second Dim was called the T-Dim, it was ordained solely for use in travel and operated quite like the oceans on Earth in that it has a motion of it's own (far faster than the motion of an ocean) and thus does not require a vessel to be propelled. The Five Races created vehicles or - some what like the ships of your world in operation, not in style - which could shift from the primary Dim into the T-Dim and then use the current and a navigational system to move to other Islands which were constantly being created. However, at this point the history of The Six Dims begins to grow dark. Many of the youngest generation began to be agitated, restless, and unhappy. They wanted adventure, danger, war. Some tried to stir up trouble between the Five Races, and one particular being soon became leader of a small band of outcasts. A black dragon named Lokrim.

It's important at this point to notify you that real dragons aren't at all like the dragons that you've probably read about in countless stories or at least they are not in the Six Dims what they are on Earth. First off, there are several different types of dragons, not only in the color of their skin, but also in their size and general traits. The smallest of the dragons are called Sprite Dragons, and are exceedingly quick serpent-like beasts with wings. They are some of the simplest of the dragons in that they don't have much desire to learn a great deal. There are also the full size dragons which are nearly 20 feet wide, and 60 feet long. These are usually the most learned of the dragon kind, simply because they aren't very active, and more often than not can be found reading a written work of some kind. There are also dragons, which are very much in resemblance to humans except for the skin, head, tail, and wings. However, they are around the same stature as most humans, and are also quite adept at using Magic. These are called Dwargons. There are also several different skin colors for Dragons and Dwargons alike both reflecting roughly the same characterisitcs. Sometimes a dragon's skin will change color with age and knowledge as well as very drastic change in identity. For instance if a dragon is somehow traumatized it's skin color may change. Apart from changing colors though, there are specific skin colors for different classes of dragons. Black Dragons are generally the most powerful with both magic and strength, Red are often very strong magically with little physical strength, while Blue are usually the most dexterous creatures, and green are the very least out of all of them. Lokrim was a Black Dwargon, and as such had much more power than most of his contemporaries.

Lokrim and his band of follower's hijacked several of the vessels which the five races had built and began pirating the T-Dim for supplies and entertainment. Around this point many of Lokrim's followers began to mingle with races other than their own, and the evil spawn that came out of those unholy unions is still ravaging The Six Dims today. There are many names to these many creatures, but it isn't possible to name them all, and not necessary at this point in time.

This whole ordeal caused somewhat of a rift to grow between the five races. The races became more independent, and finally four more Dims were discovered, and soon each race had it's own Dim, and controlled all of the Islands within them.

At this point it would be wise to tell you that the Quesinda are an aquatic race of intelligent beings. They are humanoid in appearance, although much smaller than most humans, the tallest being less than five feet. It's also important to note that as the Dwanian Order developed throughout all of this time, the elite group of members discovered consistently greater secrets in the wilderness which they had taken for their home. Because all races have equally long lives, (approximately 500-600 years) they began to communicate in deeper levels to nature. As time went on, they were eventually able to use the innate energy of nature to enhance their own powers. Often this energy was used for healing, but as the pirate situation became more severe, they also began to use this power in the offensive. The Dwanians became not only the judges, but also the justice bringers, hunting down criminals when it was necessary and thus becoming fierce fighters in order to preserve justice.

And so, time passed, and 6000 years after the beginning of written history, Jace was born.

Signed,
Weapons Master Zinrok

Letters Home

It wasn't their fault. They had no one to blame but themselves, but it was too much to bare. So they blamed me. I was Catastrophe. Destroyer of worlds. As far as they were concerned I had doomed them all. It wasn't true of course. You see, while they blamed me, I blamed them. Still do, in fact. But at least I've come to terms with it.
It was a very, very long time ago. I was there, that's probably why they blamed me. You see, at that time, this part of the galaxy was populated by seven different races. Basically, it was us, and then it was the "Aliens." Six against one isn't really fair. No one knows what exactly we did to piss them off. We were being hunted. Our advantage, so far, was in size. We had spread a lot before we ran into the first race of aliens and it took them a while to respond. They weren't expecting us you see. We had thousands of worlds and were growing. Maybe they felt threatened? I don't suppose we can ever know. Eventually, they did start attacking. Hundreds of worlds and countless resources were lost before we realized we couldn't win the way we were fighting.
That's were I came in. We really. We were a group of scientists. Our people needed an advantage. That advantage, we were told, was our project. It was a sort of Instant Transportation. It was far from perfect. We needed it now. There was pressure. The research team broke up, refusing to risk it. That's when we became me. They told me to do it, told me I had to threatened me. So I was the first one through. It seemed to work beautifully one minute I was there, the next I was standing on Earth. For a premature Human test, it was a miracle. They mass produced them, stuck them on ships, anything you can imagine. It took the enemy months to travel from world to world. We could do it in seconds. We used them to win the war, we could instantly redistribute our fleets, instantly resupply. Instantly attack.
Maybe it was god's practical joke. By that time I was a hero. It wasn't hard to find a woman who would love me. She wanted children. That's when we knew. Around when we first started attacking. We still don't understand how it works. We just know we can't reproduce. Everyone who had been transported by the device, or ate food transported by the device or needed medicine transported... They were all infertile. Over 90% of our race.
They blamed me. I was an Alien spy who had built this into the devices as a sort of revenge. I was Catastrophe. Whole worlds were abandoned. There were mass suicides. I left. It wasn't my fault. They could've made any of us do it. The research wasn't finished. They were angry. They thought the Aliens had done it. They went on a crusade.


The other part of the curse was that we wouldn't die of age. I re-integrated. My new name was John Smith. My name IS John Smith. It's a very old name. My other name is apparently forbidden, everyone who shared it was driven out. Those of us who used the device were called Guardians now. A sort of way to make the best of a bad situation. There were hundreds of thousands of natural humans left, spread out on hundreds of worlds, each isolated. They had to redevelop space flight, we had been so dependent on the device.
We protect them, we run messages and equipment. We can't transport food obviously, or medicine, but other things. We do research still. We hope we can find a way to reverse it, but believe me, we can't. What do you think I tried to do out there, by myself? They destroyed a lot of our research in the initial backlash. I know better than anyone else it can't be undone. We're sort of like the Human race's big brother. We exist primarily to look after their potentials. Help them grow back, show them what we've learned. Sometimes you can even be positive about it. But sometimes you realize the way they look at you. You're not human anymore. It creeps them out. It would creep me out to. It does creep me out. We've been mapping the galaxy. It's dangerous to use the device when you don't know where you're going, but....well... You've got to die sometime.
Eventually we'll die out. There was a group of us that broke off. They call themselves Armageddon. They call me Catastrophe. I don't call myself that. Armageddon decided we should have been wiped out. They want to put the human race out of it's misery. So the billions of Unending fight a kind of civil war. The Guardians vs. Armageddon. I am not the Catastrophe here. But the psychological torment of it, you can't blame them either.

The Guardians have all but won. I think of Armageddon as a sort of extended mass suicide plan. They all have a death wish, so they can't win. Maybe we're still a little Human after all, since we have something to fight for. The billions of Unending are millions now. The Humans outnumber us now. Our little brother grew up.

They're looking at our research, they're objective now. It's been generations, they don't remember the terror of the Catastrophe, but I do. We do. We want them to stop. Some of us tried living among them. One of us pretended to be a Human researcher, to sabotage their research on the transporter. It wasn't me. It didn't work anyway. They don't trust us now.

Some of them had a theory that we're an elitist caste, hoarding the secret of eternal life. They were the first new Unending in centuries. We wanted to cast them out, but they needed to stay. To remind our younger brothers not to make the same mistake. The very young do not always listen. That's what we call them. The Young.

We found another alien race. They don't understand us. We'll give them their space too. We don't want to interfere with them. Our little brother doesn't trust us because we helped him too much. If we give the Aliens their space, and respect them, maybe they will respect us. The humans want us to study them. They demand it. They can't get there in one life time. We can get there instantly. It's our responsibility, they say. They've come to think of us as tools, and they won't listen to us. I think it's time we left. But don't worry, we'll keep in touch.

Prologe to the Six Dims

The predator on this night had never played the roll of predator before. The previous twenty years of the young man's life had been training, leading up to this very moment. He crouched silently on his heels, watching his prey, breathing slow deep breaths. He had trained vigorously since his very first weeks of life to this end... to kill efficiently.

As he stood and walked quietly towards his quarry, only one thing floated through his mind. A scream of battle lust waiting to be unleashed upon his enemies. His steps grew quicker as he moved towards the small cluster of camp fires nestled in the hills. He had been given only one command; Let no one escape. And to this end he knew that he must be deadly efficient. To this end he must let his blades do the screaming for him.

There was no glory in the beginning, all his enemies were sleeping. At least thirty were dead before a cry was raised. However, it worked to his advantage, it drew the remaining seventy troops right to him.

The lone predator smiled absently as the sword in his left hand deftly parried a blow, and bit into his enemy's neck. All around him he saw the enemy troops to be gazelle and he the lion, right in the middle. Their superiority in numbers made them arrogant, and their assured victory suddenly became bitter in their mouths as they realized this was no simple task. They still believed they could win this encounter though and Jace, the lone predator, encouraged the thought. He allowed one of the remaining men to cut his arm lightly, knowing that the others would think victory to be close at hand.

Jace moved with a speed and ferocity unmatched in even the best of his opponents. His shining blue eyes piercing the darkness, black ponytail and garb in a blur, and his blades shortly following wherever his eyes paused. Soon the numbers of his enemies had dwindled from one hundred total to twenty and his mission was very near it's completion. Of course, had it not been night, his enemies would have fled once they saw the littered bodies, and how few of their number remained, but not one fled to the very last man. Jace had given them their assured victory and to the last man, who's heart his sword pierced, they all believed it to be just a moment away.
Jace listened closely to be sure there were no signs of movement or life... there weren't. He had counted every man he had killed, and come to one hundred. He stood quietly in the center of one hundred dead men, calming his body, breathing slowly, and pushing down his desire to scream victory into the cold night air. He wiped his swords clean on a dead-man's shirt and replaced them to their sheaths. Jace, having completed his mission, walked out into the night once more. Heading for home.

A Midnight Clear

I've had a long week with no creative energy, so as soon as this poem started forming in my mind I wrote it down to try and encourage the creative spark. Besides that it's 4 am and I couldn't go up to my room and wake my roommate up so I had to jot it down somewhere. =O)

Once upon a midnight clear
There was a boy who held no fear
Of death which held no sway of him
And every night he dwelt on this
With bliss he thought of such wanted rest
The rest of death
And life which held him tight and sound
Had not a wonder or delight
He hadn't found and still has not
A clue of why live he ought
He thought of death with fondness unmatched
Caressing every breath of risk
Not realizing what it was he missed
For every step towards death he took
Another away from a life of good
Perhaps he knew this but it saved him not
For he continued on with that same thought
He wanted death and hoped it quick
Wished it to his side
There was no turning back he said
And to him that was just as well
He never understood the fact
That rest in plenty he would receive
But only one life did he plan to leave
He never knew until much later
That he had missed so much
But on his deathbed he confessed
Life has worth I should have seen
Be that as it may
I'll welcome now the death which waits
And go to final rest
But take this word from me to you
That if ever you adopt a morbid view
Rethink your life and appreciate
All those things which seem so hard
In the end they are the essence of
A life of fullness unmatched

New Realm of Thought

I don't apologize for the fact that I've been tending towards the spiritual and theological aspects of life lately, because that is generally all I've been thinking about in my frequent smoke break musings. However, I think it's time to move on to new ground.

My most recent musing has been on the nature of Super Heroes. The reason, is that I've spent the last 8 hours watching a Heroes Marathon on the Sci-Fi channel. Of course this can seem pretty shallow, but it's really very relevant to all of our lives. You see, every young boy or girl believes that there is something truly unique and special about them. Many believe that they are capable of super-human activities. When I was 4 or so, I jumped off a flight of stairs assuming that of course once I jumped I would suddenly understand how to fly, and be able to land perfectly fine at the other end of the stairs. Instead I received a bruise on my head from the doorknob.

Firstly, I think it's most important to realize that although we as humans may not have superhuman qualities, we are unique and we have what it takes to be heroes. Of course some of the grandeur is vanquished in realizing that we aren't super-human, but in reality human is all that's required. Inevitably in each of our lives we will be faced with a decision to do the right thing, or the wrong thing. When we do the wrong thing, we receive a feeling called regret. A longing to change the choice that we made. When we do the right thing, often we feel as if we are super-human. We feel as if we've accomplished something exceedingly heroic...and we have. To live in a world full of the wrong thing, and to face that and make the right choice is a very admirable act. All of this is good and dandy, but there is another aspect I want to address.

It's odd, but I've always thought about the fact that humans only use 10% or so of their brain. My personal belief, is that we were initially created with the ability to use the full capacity of our brains, and as such we were indeed intended to have "super-human" powers, at least in the sense that we as humans now see such things as more than human, although in reality they were originally simple human nature. Of course if you believe in the validity of the bible, then you can see where I am going with this argument. Once humans fell from the image that God had initially created of himself, we also lost much of what we once had. We were initially meant to be in communion with God, us filling something in Him, and Him filling something in us. However, when we decided that we wanted to run things on our own terms, He had to take away some of what we had, make it so that we needed Him at least to some degree. I think that if none of us needed God, then the world would be a much worse place than it is today, if it even still existed, but that's just my personal fancy as well.

In watching the series, Heroes, I saw at one point that the son of a well known genetic scientist was teaching a class, and he mentioned a very similar theory. He said that same thing about the fact that we only use 10% of our brains and, "could we imagine what a difference there would be if we could use 11%?" It was interesting to see my thoughts mirrored in such an exact way, and I have come to believe that most humans think along the same line, that we all long for that 1% more, or that full 100%. In the same way, I started realizing that in virtually all of the fantasy novels that I've read, in which there is magic of some sort or another, that there is always talk of the "lost arts." The story is the same all the time, there were many ancient magics that had been lost to modern users in almost every story. Now, I think that common trends, or popular myths, often have truth to them. For instance I've spent a great deal of time thinking on vampires, and I've come to realize that vampires in some way characterize what we were meant to be. Not blood sucking undead, but rather, better than a human being in every way, and having eternal life. Why are vampires so incredibly popular? Not really because they suck blood, or that they have a somewhat demonic in essence, but because in vampires we see a glimpse of what we as humans were meant to be. The same goes for super heroes, what boy hasn't wanted to be superman? Or even better, the bad ass characters that we read about in comics, like Wolverine or Gambit? Many people relate with Spider Man, because we often see glimmers of both the right and the wrong in his internal struggle with the power he has.

We were meant to be so much more!

But we are still meant to be more! Forgive me once again for coming back to a theological musing, but think of the implications. If we were created in God's image, to be immortal, and to have the power to subdue and tame the world, and that was the original intention of God, then how much more will it be so in the eternal life? The super-humans that we long to be are actually our ancestry calling to us from the grave. The desire still within our hearts for justice and heroism, will be made a reality once more. That's what Jesus promises, he says, that to those who follow Him he will give eternal life. If the original eternal life meant not only that we were to live forever, but that too we were meant to have amazing power, enough to tame the world, then won't the eternal life to come be the same in that aspect? Won't it be a renewal of our mind to it's 100% capacity? Won't that mean that while we have physical forms, that we will also be almost completely in tune with the spiritual world. Right now, with our minds the way they are, we aren't able to comprehend most spiritual things, but what about when God restores us to our full potential?

I think we'll be able to see clearly for the first time since the fall.

Pleasing men, and god?

When thinking about the goal of pleasing god, the message of sacrifice is not uncommon. To truely please god you must ensure that what he wants for you is given priority over what you want for yourself, right? Maybe sometimes, but that seems to me like an unfortunate way to live your life, constantly denying your desires.

Would he really want that for you?

I say no. It is important to be able to deny some of your more immediate wants. Indeed I would say that is a vital skill.


So I was thinking about this at one point. The times when I have felt most at peace with myself, and most as though god was pleased with me, were times when I focused only on doing what I felt was right, or what felt best. This seems like it may have been a selfish goal, where in that did I stop to think of what it was god wanted me to do? Yet if it was so selfish, why should I feel proud of those actions and feel as though my creator would be proud as well?

My thoughts are as follows: I have spent a great deal of time thinking of who my god is, and what pleases him, or displeases him. On these matters I have come to my own decisions. These decisions, my concepts on who god is, and what he likes, are entirely subjective. I have no assurances, other than my faith, that I have the right ideas on this, nor, i believe, could I ever have and assurances, until the day I am with him. This is what it is to be human. In internalizing my beliefs, I align what makes me happy, or pleases me, with I think would please him. Because we are made in his image after all, doesn't it make sense that we might be pleased by the same things? This is not to say, I think you should always be impulsive. We are often faced with desires to do things that we would not be proud of before god. But if you are careful in thinking about it, I think you may find (at least it has been my experience), that there are other actions that might please you both better than your first impulse. Where then is the sacrifice?

Temptation

I read a story the other night in 1st or 2nd Kings about an unnamed man of God. God spoke to this man and gave him a prophecy for the king of Israel and God told the man not to eat or drink anything while he was in the city. The man of God went and told the prophecy to the king and was then (I suppose) waiting around town to see what God said next. Another man of God heard of the first and paid him a visit, inviting the first man to join him for some food and drink. The first man declined saying that God had given him strict orders not to eat or drink in the city. The second man deceived the first man, saying, "An angel visited me and told me to invite you to my home to eat." The first man believe him and went to his home to eat, and after he had eaten, the second man told him, "Thus says the Lord, because you have not headed my word, you will be killed by a lion as soon as you leave." The first man makes no reply, but simply leaves town and is killed by a lion. The second hearing that it was so went and gathered up the first man whom the lion was lying next to. The lion had not mauled or eaten the first man but simply killed him and waited. The second man upon burying the first man ordered his servants to bury him in the very same grave as the first man when he died.

Now I have to admit that when I first read this I was a bit shocked. I was thinking, wait a second... what the hell? Wasn't the second man to blame for deceiving the first man? However, I've come to the conclusion that although this really happened, it is effectively a word picture. God I think, is trying to show us how temptation works. I also believe that the first man of God is currently residing in heaven, simply because he was deemed a man of God, I believe that title is only given to those who are truly walking with God and even when they mess up, they are still saved by grace (at least once Jesus came into the world). I'm willing to bet that the man of God was pretty thirsty and most definitely hungry. God told him not to eat in the city and, though we are not told how long the man resides in the city (although it is probably only a day or so), even after not eating for one day I find that I cannot quench the desire for sustenance.

I think though, that what's really going on here, is that God sends along the second man of God for the purpose of testing the first man. In all likely-hood, the second man thought that he was doing the first man a favor by deceiving him into eating, but in reality, the first man knew quite well that God had told him not to eat or drink, and he basically compromised. He rationalized what God had said to him, probably thinking, "Well, if God told me to do one thing, and an angel told this other man something contradictory, then it's either not really that important, or God changed his mind." The man should have at least prayed for confirmation, but if not then he should have known that God doesn't change his mind, and that what God had said to him first was the truer. The truth of the matter is, the dude was really hungry. He took God's command lightly and because he didn't pass the test God brought him home. That's pretty serious of course, I mean gosh lighten up God, but we have to realize that God used that man's life as an example for all of us to realize the serious nature of obeying God. As I said before, I think that man is probably up in heaven now enjoying the Lord and the Lord enjoying him. He's home now, and God used his stay on earth to show us all what it means to compromise with temptation. God also is trying to show us through this example, that we need to trust Him completely, and that we should be continually checking with God to make sure that we are living obediently.

Just as a side note, the other day I went to the bathroom and when I flushed it, the toilet got clogged. I plunged it and flushed it for about five minutes with no luck, so I finally decided to give up until the morning and went up to bed. As I lay there in bed I suddenly had a feeling that God was displeased with me and I had no idea why. As far as I could recall I had done nothing wrong, but as I thought about it He brought the toilet to mind. He let me know that he was disappointed with the way I had handled the situation and that I should rectify it. (Keep in mind that I had been laying in bed for a good thirty minutes now almost completely asleep, and only half dressed) I knew that the only way I was going to come to be in good standing with God again was to go down and flush that toilet, and this may sound silly, but getting out of my comfy bed, walking down-stairs, and plunging that toilet until it was clear, was probably one of the hardest things I've done.

Getting out of our comfort zone often is the hardest step of all, but once we're out of "bed," God will give us the strength to carry out whatever mission he gives us. The temptation that I dealt with was that of just going to sleep. Now imagine if I had just gone to sleep rather than heading God's word. Would I have woken up with a lion's jaws around my neck? =OP

Pleasing God, Not Men

On several occasions as I’ve gone outside to smoke a cigarette or two, I’ve had the distinct impression that God was pleased with me. Now is it because of the fact that I was smoking? I don’t claim to know that, but doesn’t it seem odd that God created the tobacco plant? As far as I know there is no reason for tobacco and the only use that can be derived from it is smoking. I know that I definitely am filled with pleasure when smoking a cigarette.

Whatever the case, God created pleasure in this world, and he also created an everlasting man, or at least that’s the belief that I’ve drawn from the bible. I wonder if perhaps smoking were to be a pastime for man, a social matter. After all, if man were immortal would not cancer have been a non-issue? These thoughts of course are no less irrelevant after all, because we live in a fallen world in which we are not immortal and smoking does harm our bodies, so on to the next musing.

I think that lately I’ve been feeling God’s pleasure in many more things than I used to. When I go out to smoke a cigarette, I light up, pop my MD (mountain dew) and walk out into a brisk air. The wind suddenly picks up and blows into me, through me. I feel alive. I feel…as if God himself purposely planned that that gust of wind should blow at the exact time at which I walked onto the porch, and I know at that moment that God is pleased. Not because I’m smoking the cigarette, or because I’m drinking the MD, but simply because I’m enthralled with his creation: the wind and the cigarette, the dark sky and the churning trees. He delights in my delighting of him, and that sets me to delighting all over once again.

I was recently talking to a friend about how I feel as a smoker. How I feel segregated and frowned upon. She replied that she understood and she herself (although she isn’t a smoker) was disgusted with the disdain that others felt at second-hand smoke. She maintained that her mother and father had both been smokers, and that her mother had been ashamed of what others thought of her. At one point, the pastor of their church was visiting with the mother and father, and the mother mentioned that she felt ashamed. The pastor replied that in his opinion, smoking would never send her to hell but that it might get her to heaven a little faster. She of course laughed at this and at least in my mind she felt at peace, knowing that although she had been unable to conquer the addiction in her life, she was still in good standing with the Lord.

All this to say that in my life no man’s opinion is weightier than my father’s in heaven. What pleases my God pleases me. This is what I strive for. I strive to please God, that I may be pleased in turn.

Doing

I’ve often thought of the gladiator in the arena. He fights for his life with passion, holding on to the only thing he has during that space in time. He knows nothing of the bystanders cheering him on or booing him down. He only knows the fight for survival. The attempt to do.

Though indeed, that valiant warrior may die in the ring, he will have lived in it as well. You see, all the bystanders, the critics, the skeptics, the fans, they watch and talk, but they do not do. Those poor men on the side lines will never know what it is to truly live as that man lived. They will only think that they are above such things, while in reality they are below them. To live, to do ,is what we are called to.

Now I put the question to you. Have you done?

I had an experience about 6 months ago, more or less, in which there was a group of people sitting around one man playing a guitar. It was a small club near Miami Beach, and there is an outside patio area where this was happening. My dad was with me and asked me if I wanted to get my guitar out of the car and play with the man. I said not really, but something inside me did want to play. It didn’t matter at all whether I played well or played badly, played one of my songs or one of his, it just mattered that I did. I ordered a double-shot of Bacardi 151, gulped it down and proceeded to my car. I brought back my guitar and asked the man if I could play with him, and he invited me to sit down. We ended up playing a song or two, nothing special, but I just knew that I had to do and I’m glad that I did. In truth, it was pretty significant for me. Once we had begun playing, the whole group that had been listening and talking while the man played his guitar began to sing with us as we played. In a sort of feverish delight, we played and sang the same spanish song for 5 or 10 minutes.

I did and I’m glad, I surrendered to the moment and became free.

What’s your story? What have you done?